Wednesday, November 21st, Day Seventy-Eight, Shower Aid
Today, for the first time, I watched a shower aid work with my husband to overcome his fear of falling in the shower.
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
I could not get an accurate reading on my weight this morning, but it looks like I have gained. I ate pumpkin pie at the Fireside Restaurant last night, fried potato wedges, and a garlic knot, a type of bread.
Life here is like living on a cruise ship. It is great, except you gain five pounds a week. It is terrible for your weight. It will probably be good to go back to my own cooking instead of living the high life like we are doing.
Last night a couple ate with us. We listened to what was pretty much a monologue by the woman as she talked about her granddaughter and mother. I inserted a comment or question now and then. The husband said very little and did not appear to be much of a conversationalist. Neither of the couple appeared to be very interested in knowing much about either me or my husband.
Some people are like that. Fortunately, during my Lyft experience, I had many great conversations, usually with a two-way exchange of ideas. I think it is important to ask questions. We do not want to be interrogators, but questions that invite exploration from the other person are great.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. One Thanksgiving, I made a giant list of what I was grateful for. I have much to be grateful for this Thanksgiving as well. Even though most of my possessions are in Utah, I am grateful I have not needed many of them. Instead of being busy with my possessions, I have had time for this blog. I am grateful for a loving husband who cares and provides for me.
I could go on and perhaps will at some time.
The day has been long and hard. At one point I became depressed from the stress and could not do anything. I called the Crisis Support Line. After talking a while, I felt supported, and following her advice called 2-1-1. That led me on a wild goose chase. I finally ended up being transferred to an answering machine. However, it broke my depression and I was able to get going for the rest of the day.
Help From Mom
I had a long talk with Mom last night before retiring. I told her I was burned out and had not even been able to get a shower that day. She suggested I get my step-son’s help and give him the move-out booklet, so my husband can get back the money he put into this retirement complex. Since my step-son visited us yesterday afternoon and had taken the news of our move in stride, I thought that might be a realistic thing to do. Mom suggested I not do everything my husband asks, but encourage him to be more independent. Sometimes I cannot do everything he asks; I need to get over feeling guilty about it.
Better Conversation at Dinner
Last night’s conversation at dinner was much better than the night before. We conversed with a 96-year-old man and 90-year-old woman. They were neighbors and not married to each other. I skipped dessert but still ate a lot. This morning, my weight was 125.2 pounds, more than when I started this journey. I think when we start relying on my own cooking again, this weight gain will reverse itself. I must also break my sugar addiction again.
I got my shower this morning. My husband got a shower yesterday with the help of a shower aid. He has been deathly afraid of falling in the shower. Now, with the help of a shower chair and a little help from an aid, he can do it. I watched to see what the aid did so perhaps I can assist him myself down the road, if needed. We, the aid and I, said my husband was a “new man.”
The shower aid said that showers require a lot of energy from people, and they often want to nap when they are done. She said many people are so afraid of showering they cancel their appointments with her. She said it is an unusual day to have no cancellations.
That seems to fit my own experience. I often find myself too tired to take a shower.
My meditation practice has become non-existent since my husband returned home from the rehab center. The problem is that I cannot get through a session without being interrupted by my husband’s constant demands. I have not figured out how to solve that problem yet. I could do it first thing in the morning, but I prayed about it and decided the best time was right after breakfast. But at that time now, I am busy making my husband coffee, getting him his medication, and getting him breakfast. I typically do not have time for my meditation at that time. If I did it first thing in the morning, while my husband is still asleep, I would not have time to work on this book/blog.
Perhaps I could set aside a corner of this blog to devote to meditation and do it then. Let me think on that possibility. Let me get this entry finished up and start Thanksgiving Day.