Wednesday, February 27th, Day 176, My Neighbor

Wednesday, February 27th, Day 176, My Neighbor



If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.


Preparing For My Day

i am grateful that:
  • staying within my calorie budget yesterday dropped my weight by 1.1 kg!
  • I slept until past 6:00 AM this morning.  That helped me lose weight too.
  • my back is feeling better this morning.
  • my V8 mix (regular and low sodium) has my potassium/sodium balance at 1.804.
  • my blood pressure is 116/84 mmHg.
  • my neighbor wants to take me to the rec center this morning.
morning comments, feelings, ideas, moods, and empowering questions:
How can I always stay within my calorie budget?
mood and energy:
I am a bit perplexed about whether to go to the rec center with my neighbor, and it is bringing down my mood some.
reason it is important
next action(s)
I scored 5 of 5 points in JV Life Tracker for yesterday regarding my calorie budget in Cronometer.
I was able to lose weight finally!
Continue to eat within my Cronometer calorie budget.
I scored 25 points in JV Life Tracker for yesterday.  My average is 12.21.
I am doing my most important activities.
Continue to consistently score JV Life Tracker!
I walked 96 minutes yesterday total and increased my calorie budget.
Exercise is critical.
Should I go to the rec center with my neighbor from 8:30AM-11:00 AM?  I will not have time to fix my husband breakfast.  I am not sure my neighbor’s schedule is going to work the best for us.
I also did strength training yesterday.
Strength training increases metabolism and strength.  It may help my back.
Do it regularly.  I have always heard that 3 X weekly is best, but my exercise may be okay to do every day.
I am re-establishing the habit of viewing my vision boards.
Vision and looking ahead is critical.



Last night, I talked with a couple who live on this floor.  She is in a wheelchair, and he goes to the rec center five times per week, which is his social life as well as his exercise.  He has invited me to come with him, and his wife is all for it also.  If I go, I can get to know my neighbor better, meet a lot of people in this area with him introducing me, and take advantage of first-rate facilities we have already paid for.  I planned to this morning, but then wondered what my husband was going to do for breakfast while I was gone.  It would not be the lifestyle we have come to enjoy with omelettes and made-from-fresh hash browns.

Advantages of Exercising Here

I hate to turn down an opportunity like that, but I must count the cost on my marriage.  I wish my husband would come along too, but he does not want to.  Maybe it is better to continue walking in the hallway.  That way I can see that my husband does his walking as well.  I am especially concerned about letting go of the walks I am having with my husband.  He might be willing to do them later in the day but maybe not.  Anything I can do for his mobility is very important.
Our hallway is not decorated really nicely, but it is not bad.  I kind of like it.  The rec center would help me lose weight, but I proved today that I can lose weight if I just get some exercise here and stay within my calorie budget.  I would miss the social aspects of the rec center, but my most important social life is with my husband, and I can still socialize in the hall with the neighbors.

Driving Goal

Lord, I know we talked about going to the rec center, but that was so I could get some frequency in driving.  If I go with my neighbor, it will be easier, but I will not accomplish my driving goals.  If I go by myself, I can exercise on my own schedule, and I will not likely be away from home as long.  But, will I do it?

Will A Restaurant Further My Weight Loss Goal?

Lord, am I thinking wrong?  My emotions this morning are saying to not go with my neighbor, but that could just be my inertia.  I have not even been there, and I still need to get a membership card.
Twice a week my neighbor goes to a restaurant after his workout at the rec center with friends.  It sounds like fun, but will a regular visit to a restaurant really further my weight loss goal?
I could go with my neighbor tomorrow, but tomorrow is a day he goes to the restaurant, which will make me miss both breakfast and lunch with my husband.
Lord, we talked about helping my husband become more independent by my being gone, but I do not want us to be so independent from each other that it endangers our marriage.  My husband has occasionally complained how his former wife always went to a coffee shop, spending a lot of time with friends, and leaving him to fix breakfast on his own.  That is one thing he did not like.  I do not want to be a repeat of his former wife.

Breakfast For My Husband

I just fixed my husband his two-egg, sharp cheddar cheese, organic spinach omelette with bacon crumbles, basil, and oregano.  He is so grateful to have it.  I could have been gone to the rec center at this time.
It is time to get ready for my walk in the hallway.  My feelings have been so mixed today, while I have been in decision mode.  Today I realized being able to make breakfast and lunch for my husband is a big deal to me.  Doing that has been one of the cornerstones of our marriage.  My husband would be willing to have me go to the rec center, but he would have to give up part of his lifestyle.  For now I will keep walking in the hallway.  I am not sure what I will tell my neighbors.  I will have to think of something.  I know my neighbor does not cook for his wife who is in a wheelchair. She does not cook either because it is hard for her to stand at the counter.  They go out to eat a lot.  That is not the lifestyle I would prefer.


I walked 2.12 miles and walked three laps with my husband.  His balance and endurance are already doing much better after walking every day for only a week or so.  I talked to the neighbors in the hall again as well, which was very enjoyable.
I fixed my husband a sandwich for lunch and had 476 calories of deli ham, a small avocado, and a banana myself.  My husband says he is very happy.


The weather is colder today than yesterday.  I have errands to do, which I keep putting off.  Maybe I can get some of them done the day that I go to visit Jacque.  That would be a very long visit, however.  I can prepare a sandwich for my husband in advance and fix him an omelette before I go.  That will work.

Plans for a Second Walk

I feel a bit toned down now that I have done my walk and gotten lunch.  I plan to take a second walk later this afternoon or early evening.  I think my second walk yesterday was part of the reason for my weight loss last night.  Whether I can hope to lose the same amount doing it over and over, I do not know, but I have an idea that may work well enough.  A second walk would not be practical at the rec center, but I need to split my exercise because my back starts to hurt while walking.


My husband has gone in the bedroom to lie down.  Let me do my meditation for the day.  That helped relax my brain.  I am still wrestling with my decision about the rec center.  For now, I will do what I am doing here.  I can change my mind later about the rec center if I want to.  During the warmer months it will be easier to go there myself too.
Today, while praying on my walk, I received the message, “DO THIS.”  I was afraid the Lord supported my going to the rec center instead.  Today, I felt like it would be okay to do what I am doing instead.  This is the toughest decision I have made in a while.
I could do a pro and con sheet.  Once I have listed the pros and cons, I would have to weigh them.   At different times, different pros and cons would have different weights.


Right now, I feel kind of hungry, but my snack time is not for almost two more hours.  Fortunately, I got rid of the Christmas cookies and the only kind of ice cream we have is vanilla, which thankfully is not my favorite.  We are out of potato chips, though we do have crackers.  I think I will eat an orange.  There.  That is a fair amount of sugar in them and 75 other nutrients, including a lot of vitamin C, some vitamin A, B vitamins, folate, calcium, copper, magnesium, phosphorus, and potassium–as well as amino acids.  An orange was not a bad choice.
I have loved oranges since childhood.  My parents bought them by the box from Phoenix.  (We lived in northern Arizona.)  I would keep the box of oranges under a covered hole in my closet, where there was room under the house.  I would sneak oranges even when it was not mealtime.  They were large and juicy, and I became an ace at peeling them.  That is a good memory.  I have loved oranges ever since.  Now I usually just eat them in the colder months, but I look forward to them each winter.  They are one reason I love winter.


Though I have had all the symptoms of bipolar disorder, I am currently healed.  On Sunday, February 10th, 2019, I declared that I was healed, following a sermon from my spiritual leader.  I did not make the mistake of abandoning my medication afterwards, which my body has acclimated itself to now.  However, I have been free of bipolar symptoms since.  It has been two and a half weeks since then, and what a great start into a new existence!
Since that time, I have been re-writing my self-image, finding self-acceptance, and discovering my qualities of being gorgeous, peaceful, efficient, tenacious, and careful.  Reciting the affirmation, “I am happy with the way that I am,” I have found greater controlled energy.  I have recommitted myself to my goal to lose 15 pounds without sacrificing my energy and mood, and I and my husband have been very happy.
So what is next? I am just going to enjoy my life.  I still have a few other symptoms, but they are not characteristic of bipolar disorder.  Maybe I can get rid of those too.  Is it a miracle?  Maybe, but I was ready to be healed.  I just needed to declare that I was.
On February 10th, I also wrote this poem:

Express Yourself

Express Yourself by KaeLyn Morrill
Express yourself, express yourself!
Now find inside yourself your voice.
Make way for other struggling souls
To become released from their cage.
Vulnerability’s scary!
Criticism from those you know
Can damage your raw self-image
And stymie your progress in life.
Let no worries ever stop you.
There’s too much currently at stake.
The world now awaits your message!
So get your next work on to bake!
I decided to go on with my blog.  I must still deal with my fear of criticism, but I have found some of my strengths lately.  I have continued to be vulnerable.  However, I have not talked about bipolar disorder as much.  That is because I am healed.

Eating Cashews for a Snack

For my afternoon snack, I had an ounce of raw cashews.  They have the effect of giving me a lot of copper, so I took an extra half of the Silica Complex supplement, which contains zinc.  That balanced my zinc/copper ratio right in the middle of the ideal range.  At one time, I had an extremely large amount of copper in my diet and not much zinc.  I had symptoms of copper overload, which are mainly psychiatric and very serious.  With the help of Cronometer since then, I have balanced zinc and copper.  Copper overload is one of the dangers of a vegan diet.  If you are vegan, consider taking a zinc supplement.  I suggest using Cronometer to help you determine how much zinc you need.
The advantage of using cashews is that taking a few can promote weight loss.  I am not sure how they do it, but they seem to work very well.  I ate cashews yesterday and lost a lot of weight.  I have noticed that effect repeatedly.  That could be true for any nuts, but cashews are Zone-balanced by themselves, where many nuts are not.  In the past when I was losing weight, I used cashews almost every day.  When I was going to the rehab center last fall, I was able to control my weight on the days I took cashews with me.
I am going to re-instate cashews into my weight loss arsenal.  It takes more than cashews to make weight loss work, but cashews are definitely a tool.  Also, I love them.  They are delightfully sweet.  I use unsalted cashews, which seem even sweeter.  Using an unsalted version helps control the amount of sodium in my diet.  It also helps prevent me from overdosing on cashews.  If they are salted, I tend to crave them rather than just using them for energy.  That is not a good thing.


This evening, I walked 1.55 miles, according to my pedometer.  I planned dinner carefully and am within my goals for calories, sodium, and sugars.  Those three things typically go out-of-bounds and show up marked with red in Cronometer.  I believe if I get all three of them in bounds, I will gradually lose weight and reach my goal.  I am also getting ample potassium.
I may experience a lot of hunger tonight.  I have 104 calories left in my budget, so I can eat a half an ounce of cashews.  That may work, and I will only do it if needed.  I would like to have a bigger deficit if I can pull it off.
My mood tonight is good, even before dinner.  I made a donation tonight to my university for the Women in Computer Science scholarship fund.  Since I got my Cadillac sold, my finances are in much better shape.  Donating to my school may be activity #4:  practice acts of kindness, which is one of the twelve activities that increase happiness.  Since I memorized the list of twelve activities, I review it in my head every day.
In keeping with activity #1, expressing gratitude, I decided to do my gratitude list each day, even though Sonja Lyubomirsky determined that once a week is sufficient.  The reason for that?  It is easier for it to become a habit.
I am grateful tonight for the love of my husband.  He expresses his love.  He expresses his gratitude for the things I do for him.


Evening Prayer
Dear Lord,
It is just after dinner.  My husband and I had a lovely time eating together.  I love this place even more after today.  I got to pet two very friendly dogs.  My husband and I can think of nothing that would make this place better.  It is perfect for us.
My mood is calm, serene, gentle, peaceful, happy.  My energy is enough for the evening.
Lord, I have asked you what I should do with my life.  You have just encouraged me along my path.  For years now, You have said, “Write!”  I am finding joy in writing.  It is my happiness, along with being with my husband.
Lord, thank You for understanding my desire to be here to prepare my husband breakfast and lunch each day.  I do not want to lose that key part of our relationship.  Being able to log my food in Cronometer is a big deal to me also.
The rec center is paid for, but why not take advantage of being in the condo?  We paid for that too.
Lord, bless my readers with the wisdom to overcome their own obstacles.  Bless them with health and happiness.  Help them to search this blog for answers.  Help them to slake their thirst with Living Water that they may always be refreshed.

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