Tuesday, October 16th, Day Forty-Two, Lyft
If you wish to join this journey from the start, go to Day One.
I lost 1.1 pounds of the 2.4 pounds I gained over the weekend, so I have not fully recovered, but I am making progress. The big thing I am working on is getting enough sleep. I slept until 7:30 AM this morning, so that helped. Just sleeping in later and later will not work for most people, however.
I was up kind of late last night, talking to my sister. I am glad I got a chance to talk to her however. We do not often talk. She works, so she is only available at night. She advised me to reduce my stress and talk to a lawyer. Both pieces of advice would be well-taken.
I had prayed about talking to a lawyer before and got the answer no. Perhaps that was the right answer then. I am going to ask again. I got the answer yes.
Before talking to a real estate lawyer, I called three numbers. The lawyer said it could be legal for my retirement complex to kick me out, depending on what their covenants say. So it looks like he would not try to prove the covenants illegal. That is disappointing, but perhaps the way things work. If I were to prove those covenants illegal, it could threaten an entire industry. I do not think I want to go to the work it would require to do that, if it could be done. I am sure lawyers carefully drew up those covenants to begin with. It may be worth it to see how those covenants actually read however.
I got lunch and took a shower. I called the rehab center to let my husband know I will be there at 3:30 PM today. Then I called housekeeping to arrange a cleaning. The maid will be here tomorrow (Wednesday) at 10:00 AM, so I can take care of that before visiting my husband tomorrow.
I am feeling very weary again. Today I think I will do the Mindfulness for Releasing Anxiety meditation again. I believe that much of my fatigue is just chronic stress.
My meditation got interrupted by an annoying telemarketer I have not been able to get rid of. I spoke to someone this time, and he/she hung up on me.
What can I do to keep from feeling discouraged? I am tired. For weeks, I have not been able to lose any more weight. I face having to live apart from my husband. Every time, I get deathly tired when I drive. It is necessary to drive to see my husband. I cannot even communicate with him on the phone. Is there no relief from this?
I have been trying so hard to have a good attitude, but stress is wearing me down, and I am having medical symptoms that are probably the direct result of stress. This afternoon, I thought of telling my husband I would not be there at all today, but I just took the day off Sunday and last Wednesday as well. I do not want to let my husband down.
I told my husband I get deathly tired from driving, but he does not seem to remember that when I stay at home to rest up. What would I tell my best friend to do? If I drove more, would I just get used to it and not be as tired? Now I am tired, and I have not even driven yet today.
Keeping My Word
To keep my word to my husband, I need to leave in half an hour. I am very big on keeping my word. But do I need to break my neck in order to keep my word? If it was just today, that would not be so bad. It is just that the effect of all of this is cumulative. Stress builds upon stress.
Try Out Lyft for the First Time?
Maybe today would be the day to try out the Lyft service. Lyft is a bit pricey but cheaper than a taxi. I do not think I could use it every time. However, if I really want to be with my husband and do not feel I can drive, it is an option. The only thing is that doing something the first time is a stress itself. Yet depending on how good the service is, it would not be a stress every time.
It looks like I have to go to the lodge to be picked up. I can get there in 10 minutes or so. Let me finish getting ready.
After Getting to the Rehab Center With Lyft
The Lyft ride was a dream. I accessed the lodge quickly through the basement parking garage. Fortunately, the other day I inquired about the easiest way to get to the lodge. The wait for the driver was just over two minutes. The driver was nice. We went the back way, off the beaten trail. I got to my husband’s room at 3:29 PM, exactly on time. It was just a bit more expensive than I expected. I expect it will go smoothly on the way back. I feel more alive than if I had driven here.
At the Rehab Center
My husband apparently did not get my message about me coming at 3:30 PM. I inquired about it at the receptionist’s desk and found out that it was not the receptionist’s job to deliver messages to the residents. So why did she not tell me that when I gave her the message? The nurse manager told me to ask the nurses at the nurses station to deliver messages instead. She gave me their card. So I bent over backwards to be there at 3:30 PM, and the rehab center had not even bothered to deliver my message!
My husband slept the first two hours I was there. I spent my time talking with the receptionist, visiting with his son, writing in Evernote, walking up and down the hallways, talking to the cook, and playing the grand piano on the first floor. The nurses woke my husband for dinner. I ate dinner with him, which took another two hours. Then I gave him a ride in his wheelchair up and down the hall. He apparently tired of that and asked me to take him to his room, which I did. I helped him on his bed. The nurse came in and asked me to always let the nurses know when he needed to be helped onto his bed because it had to be done right.
The Lyft Ride Home
I summoned a Lyft driver to go home. I showed my husband the animated image of a car on the GPS map showing the Lyft driver coming to pick me up. He thought that was pretty cool.
The Lyft driver coming home was as willing to engage in friendly conversation as the first. It was a pleasant ride home. We got through security okay. I did not even have to present my husband’s badge. I love the Lyft service. In the future, I may not even need to have a car. I can use Lyft and Instacart. However, it is a bit pricey to use every day. Several times a month would be okay. The amount of stress Lyft saved me was huge.
I slept until about 6:00 AM this morning. I was very tired last night at bedtime. The cumulative stress is getting to me, though the Lyft ride helped quite a lot. My visit at the rehab center yesterday was stressful. I was mega-miffed about not being able to get messages to my husband. He still does not answer the phone. I tested his number to see if I had it right. I do. I had very little time to talk to my husband. He only answers my questions occasionally. Much of the time I get no response.
Take The Day Off?
So, the question is this: should I take today off ? I could notify my husband through the nurses station. Of course, I could take Lyft again, which in many ways I would love to do, but that is expensive. Plus, I still have to go through the stress of being there. Waiting two hours for my husband to take a nap yesterday took a toll on me, though I am glad I was able to play the grand piano downstairs, and nobody said I could not. I played more softly and slowly than I typically do. Yesterday, I forgot my reading glasses when I went downstairs, so I played the piano without them. Next time I will have to remember.
So, if I were to score my day yesterday, what would I do? I track how many new things I do each day and give myself ten points in JV Life Tracker for each. I used Lyft and played the piano at the rehab center, which are two major new things. Also, I talked to my husband’s son about the alcohol we have here, wondering what I should do with it. My husband’s son offered to get rid of it himself. He said he would talk to my husband to get his consent. I said, “Get as much of his consent as you can.” I agreed to let him in to get rid of the alcohol. So arranging that is a third new thing. Talking to a real estate lawyer was a fourth new thing. I think consistency in doing old things is crucial, but something new every day is the spice of life.