Tuesday, November 6th, Day Sixty-Three
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
I feel terribly sick today. It started with not sleeping well last night. I did not get ready for bed. I did not brush my teeth, change out of my clothes, or even take my medicine. Rather than get in the covers, I put my coat over myself instead.
I did not go to the rehab center today. I have been doing more work, regarding my future, running into a lot of roadblocks. I was just about ready to give up the idea of getting a condo, but my husband still wants to do it. He wants to start looking as soon as he gets out of the rehab center tomorrow.
The realtor does not want to take responsibility for moving my husband, but we can do our own transportation with the jeep. I need practice moving my husband around, which I will get, starting tomorrow. We got him to and from the emergency room to remove his stitches, so I know we can do it.
I visited with Jacque earlier today. She said a prayer for me, asking for our next step. I did not tell her that my key word and title for yesterday was, ‘Next Step.’ My husband said our next step is to get him home tomorrow. I will take the jeep, my husband’s coat and gloves, and his suitcase. I need to gas up the jeep on the way there.
I do not know why a wave of depression has hit me so hard. It probably is the uncertainty about my future. Maybe it is the difficulty of keeping my husband happy and especially the difficulty of getting him to understand everything. Sometimes I do not understand everything myself, so as new information comes in, my feelings about possibilities change. Communicating that can be difficult. Maybe I was depressed over the letdown I felt when I gave up on the condo. It may not be time to give up on that just yet.
After getting my medication last night, I feel better this morning than I did yesterday. Maybe my depression yesterday was partly from missing my medication. My husband said a prayer for me yesterday twice. He also said he was going to do the best for me he possibly could.