Tuesday, January 29th, Day 147, Beliefs
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
Today, I explored how our beliefs affect our actions and self-image.
I just ordered pizza for my husband. It will be here in less than an hour, around 2:00 PM.
I tried again to interest my husband in a walk but got nowhere. Maybe I should give up on him, but sometimes, if I keep pressing, he will do it. I have been watching a lot of television with him today. Watching TV is a way to be with him. Sometimes he has the sound on, sometimes off. Right now it is on.
Today, I feel very happy. For the past 13 days, I have posted daily on this blog and have posted 18 times this month, which shows that once again I have established consistency, which is one of my values. I logged my food in Cronometer for almost three weeks solid, missing only one day. I have not yet succeeded in losing a lot of weight. However, I have arrested my weight gain. That is an accomplishment.
I ate some pizza. I logged it dutifully in Cronometer. I took my Energy Supplement Cocktail and Green Source. That gives me most of the micro-nutrients I need. I noticed there is only 30 mg, or less than 1% of a daily value, of potassium in the Green Source. For potassium, you need either a super-good diet and/or a really good potassium supplement. The best I have found so far is km Mineral Supplement. You will probably need both a good diet and a supplement to get enough potassium.
I have been reading more of Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. Maxwell writes about how belief is all-important in determining our behavior. It could be that by believing that driving makes me tired, I get tired. How could I change that belief though? It seems that every driving experience I have confirms it. I thought that by disbelieving I had bipolar, I would no longer have symptoms. To be honest I felt great, but that did not prevent manic episodes. Repeatedly. Now I believe I have bipolar disorder, and my symptoms are minimal. However, I do not feel as great. So Dr. Maltz may be right about some things, but he could be taken too far, I believe.
With that preface, how can we all get the beliefs that support us? I recall a classmate who took the PSAT his junior year and scored high enough to get a scholarship. His senior year, he flunked out of all of his classes. He must have believed he did not have to work at it anymore. I cannot remember if he graduated. His new belief did not serve him.
Dr. Maltz says that it is important to see ourselves as totally unique and not compare ourselves to someone else’s norm. Fortunately, I have thought of myself as unique since grade school. Having a unique name set me up for that. However, I was not always sure that unique was good.
Whether unique is good or not, each of us is unique. God made all of us as a one-of-a-kind. A counselor said to me once, “You are perfectly you.” That is true for all of us. Since we have been submitted to standardized tests since grade school, we tend to compare ourselves to norms that may not even exist. How do we get out of the comparison trap and allow ourselves to be who we are? How do we come to value the person that is our unique self?
Self-Knowledge and Dangers of the Internet
I do not know the answers to all of these questions, but as I have come to know myself better through writing this blog, I am discovering my unique self. My unique self likes to write. I also like to disclose information. I have to be careful to protect the privacy of those I love. For that purpose, I have given few names. I have not revealed the exact location of where I live in Colorado or where I used to live in Utah.
I probably would give that info, but I have learned from sad experience that the Internet is a dangerous place. Though I have tossed around the idea of using photographs, but I realize they too can be a security danger. I do not think I am paranoid either. I have just had some experience. Some day, I will have to write about my experience of being romanced by an Internet wolf. I gave a speech about it in Toastmasters, thinking I would make people laugh, but no one laughed. The danger I spoke of was all too real.
Despite the dangers of being on the Internet, I want to reach people like myself who need encouragement. I also want to express myself. One important action I have taken that I have alluded to now and then is that I changed my beliefs about religion. I explored religious thought and atheism. I decided to return to a belief in God. However, I had a different view of God after my return. The main change is that I now feel less pressure to be perfect or to conform to a standard I did not set for myself. I have done some things I would not have done with my old set of beliefs. I even found it in myself to marry an alcoholic husband. That has not been easy, but I have grown in my ability to accept and love him and myself. As time goes on, I am enjoying freedom, especially in expressing myself, I did not know previously.
Trying On Beliefs
I tend to be a believing person, but I am more careful now about what beliefs I take on–sometimes trying on beliefs, first examining them one way then the other way. I am constantly looking for the set of beliefs that will help me and others the most. It seems like many beliefs have pros and cons. There are some advantages to believing and some disadvantages.
Beliefs About Dairy
One belief I have not made a firm decision on is whether to eat dairy. Dairy can be detrimental to the health in some ways, even causing cancer, and yet dairy has a legacy of providing a livelihood and lifestyle for people who produced ample prodigy, who are an important part of our population, including my relatives. Rejecting dairy completely is like rejecting my heritage. I know ways to improve the healthiness of dairy, such as using pasture-raised products. However, these can be pricey. On the other hand, I am not hurting financially. On the other hand, my readers may be. You can see why forming an opinion on this is complicated.
Is the Bible Reliable?
The same holds true for religious beliefs. My former religion held modern scriptures to be truer than the Bible, so if there is a conflict with the Bible, they reject the Bible. I was not aware of how many conflicts there were until I began studying more deeply.
Of course, it could all be a matter of interpretation. There are many translations of the Bible, and when looking at a whole list of them, sometimes the meaning pops out at me. The Internet has made that kind of study more doable. However, study of multiple translations of the Bible was never encouraged in the religion I was born into. Study that was encouraged was cross-referencing the Bible with modern scriptures to ascertain meaning, and that usually meant the modern scriptures had more weight.
I will not list all the items of conflict here, except one. The Bible is clear that people do not marry and are not married in the resurrection, based on the words of the Savior Himself. Leaders of my former religion believe people can be married forever as perhaps their number one tenet, which they alone have the authorization to do (conveniently). I know my parents hold their marriage sacred. Their marriage beliefs seem wonderful in many ways. However, they do not work out for some people, including myself. I investigated how I felt about it, studied the Bible some more, and decided to change my beliefs. I am certain the resurrection will be wonderful anyway, which I believe without total proof.
Logical Proof to Support My Beliefs
I have logical proof my former religion is not true. However, you have to take the Bible to be true to accept the proof. I will not get into my proof tonight, but I may share it later on. It shakes one of the key beliefs of my former faith, that all people are the children of God. Much as I was reluctant to let go of that belief, I saw how the Bible did not support it. Maybe I will change my mind and delve into that proof.
Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me” (John 8:42). Assuming Jesus’ words are true, this passage implies its contrapositive that if you don’t love Jesus, God is not your Father. Joseph Smith wrote in Doctrine and Covenants 76:24, That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God. Mormon leaders use this passage to show that all people are children of God. I think you can agree that some people do not love Jesus. According to Jesus’ words in John, they are not children of the Father. Joseph Smith’s doctrine does not match what Jesus said. So, choose Jesus or Joseph Smith. They cannot both be true.
When I thought this through, I realized intellectually that I had rational reason to believe the way I do. There are probably other proofs that could be made. I never saw this one in all my study, so I believe it is unique.
Yes, belief is key to our behavior. I am still on the lookout for an empowering set of beliefs. I list ten possibilities in my free ebook, Joyful Vibrance: Transform Your Body Image, Energy, and Mood.
- God loves me.
- A Power greater than myself empowers me as I believe.
- My value is infinite. My self-worth is independent of my performance.
- I will always aim to be my best self.
- It is worthwhile to dream and stretch out high.
- I can innovatively adapt to change.
- Divine guidance is with me always.
- I am capable, worthy, and good enough.
- I am lovable.
- As I give to others, I also receive.
I have not proven all of these, but some of them have been with me for a long time. Do you have empowering beliefs you could share with me or my readers? Consider leaving them in the comments.
My husband is snoring in the living room. Perhaps I have spent too much time away from him today. I am expressing my unique self though. Doing that is valuable to me.
My friend, Jacque, called me this afternoon. She spent four days in the hospital. She had vertigo, then her blood pressure went through the roof. I have been wanting to visit her, though I may wait until the roads are clear of snow before I go.
Even with the pizza yesterday, I lost weight. That sets me up for an even better day today.
It is supposed to warm up today and tomorrow.
I fixed my husband oatmeal with raisins. He wanted an omelette with cheese. Oh well. I suggested oatmeal to him before I prepared it, and he said okay. I guess he did not hear me right.
He is falling asleep in the living room. He ate almost half the oatmeal I gave him, and I gave him a good-sized serving. Maybe later, I will fix him an omelette.
My blood pressure is 133/75 this morning, which is okay. I medicated it yesterday, but I will not today. It should be down for several days.
JV Life Tracker
My JV Life Tracker score was 15 for yesterday, which is the max since I started my new program. Adding activities inflates the score. However, I think I had an excellent day yesterday.
I thought about the importance of valuing the unique person that I am. No one in the world does exactly the same things I do. No one in the world has exactly my thoughts. I think I need to just go on being unique. I first need to put a value on being unique.
Rarity and Value
In the National Geographic butterfly article I have been reading (May 1936), extremely rare butterflies are also considered extremely valuable. If we think about that in relation to ourselves, we realize that each of us, as a one-of-a-kind, is extremely rare and therefore also extremely valuable.
I have a rare condition in my toes. The podiatrist said it was syndactyl and polydactyl. He acted like he did not see it very often, and he thought it was really cool to see it. I have not always appreciated my rare condition. The podiatrist grinned from ear to ear to have encountered it.
I just gave my husband his omelette. He finished most of his oatmeal. I think we have struck a compromise.