Thursday, October 25th, Day Fifty-One, Counseling

Thursday, October 25th, Day Fifty-One, Counseling



I have counseling this morning, then I want to go directly to the rehab center afterwards.

Throw Away Unhealthy Food

I did not get rid of the sweetened almond milk I accidentally bought last Friday.  I must have an aversion to throwing food away.  Like the “always clean your plate” rule, there must be another rule about that in my head.  This morning it is going out with the trash.
I went back to bed earlier this morning, but I was not able to shut off my brain.  If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.

Gingered Lemonade

I just now made some gingered lemonade with less stevia than usual.  Even though it is okay with less sweetener, I prefer the original recipe.  I have used it for nausea, but may not need it for that any longer, now that I am reasonably certain that the cause of my nausea is low sodium.  Gingered lemonade is still rich in vitamin C and other phytonutrients, not to mention delicious.  Besides treating nausea, it does a really good job of lifting my mood.

Lyft to Counseling?

I have counseling in five hours.  I probably want to take Lyft, even though it is going to cost more to go to counseling first and then to the rehab center.  Counseling is almost straight north of here.  The rehab center is slightly north and mostly east.  It makes sense to go straight to the rehab center from counseling rather than coming back here first.  Considering how little sleep I got last night, getting a driver to take me to counseling probably makes sense.  Before I make a final decision on that, let me mull it around it my mind.  Maybe I can still get some sleep, though that is unlikely.


A walk would do me some good, even just around the residence.  I had hoped to get a longer walk with my husband yesterday, but he wanted to stop after a round or so through the halls.  Perhaps I should have asked him if we could continue, but I tend to follow his stated wishes.
Maybe I can try pushing his wheelchair through the hall again and do a better job of communicating what I want next time.  However, I do not want to push too hard against what he wants, unless there is a really good reason for it.  Last night, when he wanted me to help him, there was a safety issue.  That was a good reason to tell him no.  I still felt unsettled about telling him no.  Perhaps I wish I could have helped him safely.  I possibly could have, but the risk was too great.  It is hard to say because I do not know exactly how far he has progressed.  The rehab center staff would probably have said something had they found out.  If we would have had another accident, that would have set us back.
I have a sore nerve in my leg this morning, which makes walking painful.  I think I will rest for now.  That is a bummer.  What caused that?  It could simply be stress again.  I will have to do some more research on it.

Counseling with the Lord

Dear Lord,
Some of My Worries
I got very little sleep last night.  My leg is hurting me.  I worry about telling my husband no, even when it is unsafe to tell him yes.  I am so messed up.  Why am I even sharing my life in this book/blog?  Can I really be a good example?  Lord, please help me.
How Can I Reduce Stress?
Please give me counseling, Lord.  I have almost always been able to walk.  That is a big deal to me.  Perhaps I just need a few hours or days to heal.  If the problem is stress, how can I reduce the stress in my life?
Should I Do My Meditation First Thing In The Morning?
Will you give me some counseling?  You know every cubic millimeter of my story.  You can help me.  Should I start my days with meditation?  Many people advise that.  Alpha brain waves are easier to achieve when just arising from sleep.  It can set up the whole day.  Why do I always get enmeshed in something else first?  I know, I have been posting my blog first thing in the morning.  I need to resist the urge to do that and do my meditation first.  Would that be wise?
Where Should I Fit It In?
The answer to meditating rather than doing my blog first is no.  Can you explain yourself?  Perhaps my blog is so important it should be first.  Maybe it is relaxing too.  Or maybe I need the energy I have first thing in the morning to do the blog.  If I wait until later in the day, it is too hard to do.  My meditation, however, is getting crowded out.  Where should I fit it in?
Just After Breakfast?
Just after breakfast?  The advantage of doing that is that digestion works best when the body is at rest.  If I am rushing around, I interrupt digestion.  If I give myself ten to twenty minutes of meditation after breakfast, that may solve some of my digestion problems.  Maybe I can even wait to finish my cleanup until my meditation is done.  I can do it as soon as my meal is recorded.  What do you think of that, Lord?
After Breakfast Makes Sense
I have never made it a habit to meditate just after breakfast, but that was the answer that came to me.  After consideration, it made sense.  After praying, the answer was yes.  I am going to incorporate that change into my life, using JV Life Tracker to help me.
Since I have already had breakfast, my meditation is due.  Let me give it 25 minutes or so.  Thank you so much for counseling with me.

New Pattern

I meditated, then relaxed, and I may have even slept.  I am back.
I got the kitchen cleaned.  That may be a good pattern:  eat breakfast, track food in Cronometer, meditate, relax, possibly sleep, clean the kitchen.   You may not be able to copy that, but find a pattern that works for you.  I do not know if this precise pattern will work for me, but I am planning to practice doing it.


I wonder if my legs will cooperate well enough for me to hike down to the mailboxes.  Maybe I can safely wait another day before doing that.  I hate not to exercise though.  I usually do something every day.  Let me mull over that too.
While catching up bills, I ate some salted chicken, just to be sure I have enough sodium this morning.  I should leave for counseling about 9:20 AM because I need extra time to connect with Lyft.  It is 8:44 AM right now.
Today, I want to take my music books with me in case I can play the piano at the rehab center.  Usually I have a chance to play.  I can pack them with my computer.  I just discovered that my computer adapter is missing.  In my stressed rush to leave last night, I must have left it in my husband’s room.  I will go there by noon today.  It should still be there.   I left it on the floor by the recliner.
Now I will sync this blog entry with my USB drive.

Friday Morning



With Lyft, I got to counseling about five minutes early, which was perfect.   My counselor said that I am finding ways to cope with my stress.  She thought I was doing well.  She has no idea how the rest of my day went.

Missing Power Adapter

I took Lyft from counseling to the rehab center.  The driver wanted to know how to get into Full Stack programming, and I gave him some pointers.  The adapter was not at the rehab center, where I thought I left it.  Could I have lost it on Lyft?  I doubt it.  The rehab center staff scrambled to find it but the search came up empty-handed.  My helpful step-son found me an Amazon link for a new one.  I ended up ordering it on Amazon last night.  It will not be here for a while.  So my plans to use the laptop at the rehab center are squashed.  Best Buy has a universal adapter, but I would rather buy one specifically made for my laptop.


The rehab center informed my step-son about my one-star review.  I told him I had changed it a few days later to four stars.  He was relieved to hear that.  Apparently, my one-star review caused quite a stir, which is what I wanted it to do.  It sunk the rehab center’s overall rating from 3.0 to 2.8.  Now with the four-star review, the overall rating is up to 3.1.  My step-son thought I should have handled the problem privately.  If the issue had been resolved for all future customers, perhaps I would have stayed quiet, but as far as I can tell, given the way they resolved it for me, there is still a possibility of someone else having the same difficulty.

Android Data Reset

My Android completely reset on its own yesterday.  It automatically reloaded everything.  I lost my most recent JV Tracker data.  Later, I discovered that my Amazon Web sites did not work on either Android.  I figured that out however by this morning; I had to reload my Amazon apps.  I think except for losing my JV Life Tracker data, having to re-enter all my passwords, and having to wait for my adapter, I have recovered from yesterday.
New Birthday for JV Life Tracker
I had planned to start a new birthday for JV Life Tracker yesterday.  Perhaps I should literally start from scratch.  I think I need to use a different Android though because the device I was using is nearly full.  At some point I will have to re-design the app so it saves its data on the Web.  I have also thought of designing a reset function on JV Life Tracker, but so far I have not because people will complain if there is no way to recover from a reset.

Therapy Meeting

At 1:30 PM yesterday, we had a therapy meeting at the rehab center for my husband.  The director of physical therapy said he has greatly improved.  They will make discharge plans for him in another week.  It looks like he will be coming back to our retirement community.  I suspect he is not going to be strong enough to do alcohol rehab.  We may need to get Home Support plans in place for him and maybe some equipment.


My three Lyft rides went okay yesterday:  from here to counseling, from counseling to the rehab center, and then from the rehab center home.  When going home from the rehab center, my pickup location was slightly off, and the driver could not find me.   However, we connected by phone and had a good conversation on the way home.


I woke up about 3:30 AM this morning, which is better than yesterday when I arose at 1:30 AM.
My weight is back up to 121.5 pounds.  That is a concern.  My lifestyle is not very conducive to losing weight.  I will keep working on the problem.   That is what this journey is all about.
The nerve problem in my leg seems to be better than yesterday.
Last night I connected with my husband in his room by phone.  He actually answered it!  He must be getting better.  We had a good conversation.  I let him know I ordered a new adapter.

The Stress Yesterday

Yesterday was a highly stressful day.  I started the day with too little sleep.  My leg would not let me do a walk.  I never did find my adapter.  My Android did an automatic reset and reload.  I was afraid for a while I would not even get the Lyft app back on my phone, so I could return home.  My mood dropped to zero.  Fortunately, dinner revived it somewhat, but I gained weight.  I could not access any Amazon links until I returned home.  I was afraid there would be backlash from my review.
Two-out-of-three Lyft drivers had trouble finding me.  My husband noticed how tired I was.  I told him how depressed I was.  My step-son still had no word on whether I can stay here or not.  He had trouble getting our finances set up.  It is not likely that my husband can do alcohol rehab, and my husband would not give his son an okay to throw out his alcohol.

Hope for Today

This morning though, things are better resolved, not completely, but things are better.  There is hope for today.  Stay tuned for more on this journey.  Thank you so much for joining.

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