Thursday, November First, Day Fifty-Eight, Courage
This day taught me I had to summon the courage to keep going.
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
Brendon Burchard wrote a motivating book entitled, High-Performance Habits. From his research, he has determined that six habits synergistically enhance overall performance. They are:
Just remember (cc. Pine).
For many days, I scored myself in each of these six areas from one to ten in JV Life Tracker. These six values, which can guide what habits to instill in our lives were not all on my top list of values. I cannot say I have mastered all six yet. That may take a lifetime to do. Though I do not feel I have necessarily validated Brendon’s work with my own life, I can say that focusing on clarity, courage, productivity, influence, necessity, and energy has guided my life into looking totally different than what it would have been had I remain focused only on the values I had previously.
Taking Brendon’s questionnaire a year or so ago, I scored the highest in clarity. Since then my vision of the future has undergone revision after revision, and I have wondered at times if I had any clarity at all. Two things have emerged though: my marriage and my blog. Rather than writing up dozens of how-to articles on weight-loss and related topics, I am finding that I am just sharing my life, including my relationship. Tidbits of wisdom are hopefully coming out, and I think I am probably learning how to write more clearly.
Courage is what I have probably made the most gains in. It took courage to keep going on my blog, even though my desktop computer broke down and I lost the adapter for my laptop computer. Sharing vulnerably required courage, but that is what I decided to do.
It was especially an act of courage to come to Colorado where I knew nobody and marry my husband. He was in a much more debilitated state than I had anticipated. It took courage to stay and deal with it, rather than packing up and going back to Utah and leaving him without support. It took courage to remain with my husband even though I am getting expelled from his retirement community.
Productivity involves output and also taking rest. For each of the past fifty-seven days, I have written a blog article. At some point, I may want to take a break, but the best rest so far is to just write less on some days. I have averaged almost 2,500 words a day since September fifth, Day One. Productivity involves focusing. We cannot do everything. We have to decide what our most valuable output is and then churn it out.
Influence is probably what I feel weakest in. I have wondered if anyone would take me seriously since I have a mental health diagnosis. However, I am working on influence. I am at least having a lot of influence with my husband. Now I am targeting his son as well. We will see how that goes. Having self-confidence can help influence, and that is something I have worked on a lot. I hope to also influence through my blog. I have that as a goal.
Necessity is something I did not fully understand at first. There are many sources of necessity, but one is, “this is just who I am”. Your identity can determine your necessity. Economic necessity is also important. My identity underwent revision when I changed religions at forty-seven. I created a new identity. My vision statements are where I worked on my identity definition. Economic necessity influenced my decision to get married.
Energy is why I started Joyful Vibrance, LLC to begin with. I wanted to help people increase their mood and energy. The truth is that I struggle with energy myself. I have traced driving to be my biggest energy drainer. I would like to fix that problem, but for now I am using Lyft as a coping mechanism. Good nutrition can improve energy. Nutrition alone cannot do the job however. It requires a host of spiritual and psychological factors to really generate energy, many of which I have already discussed in this book/blog.
This is just grazing the surface of my work with clarity, courage, productivity, influence, necessity, and energy.
I have eaten breakfast of sea-salted chicken, a pear, and raw broccoli heads dipped in Good Foods Greek Yogurt Ranch dip. I also took three capsules of fish oil and a capsule of vitamin E. I recorded the meal in Cronometer.
With my head going in all directions, I have not taken the time the past few days to always record my meals. However, I am glad I did so this morning. It is a good way to start out a new month. November is typically very challenging for me diet-wise, but I believe I have had at least one very good November in the past, so let me hold to the belief that it is possible to do well. Let me have the courage to start this month out on the right foot.
Meditation Recording and Transcript
I generally use Insight Timer for meditation. I have also recorded my own meditations. Let me revisit one right now.
This meditation is designed to relax you for an intense day of work.
Have you taken your thyroid medication this morning? If not, stop and do so now. Otherwise, wonderful!
Sit or lie back. Get comfortable.
Focus your attention on your breathing.
While meditating we practice conscious breathing. At least two times a day, do the following exercise. Let me explain it, then we’ll do it, twice. First, inhale through your nose for four seconds. Second, hold your breath for seven seconds. Then, exhale slowly through the mouth for eight seconds. Breathe from the abdomen rather than the chest. Ready? Inhale. Two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Exhale slowly, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Again. Inhale. Two, three, four. Hold, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Exhale slowly, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Good. This will reduce stress.
Imagine a trickling, sparkling stream.
Let your thoughts drift in and away one by one on loose leaves flowing downstream.
Think of the seventh purple chakra at the crown of your head and relax down to your forehead and loosen the muscles around your eyes. Relax your cheeks, tongue, lips, and neck.
Square your shoulders and relax them.
Straighten your back and let the tension go.
Relax your arms, hands, and fingers.
Release the ileocecal valve by massaging counter-clockwise on the lower right abdomen to open it.
Relax your legs, feet, and toes.
Relax your entire body.
Remember, your self-worth is infinite. Your value is independent of your performance.
You are preparing yourself to become an influential thought leader.
Use your secret Audit time recording system throughout the day.
Work hard. Remember, to succeed, you must have clarity, courage, productivity, influence, necessity, and energy. Overcome the obstacles that will come your way and turn them into opportunities.
You are beautiful. You are talented. Talent does not matter. Experience does. Practice progressive mastery.
Remember, you don’t need to work faster and faster; just pay attention to what you are doing. Work on your most valuable activities.
You will spend time beautifully playing the piano.
Spend six days a week devoted to your chosen ambition.
You will do it!
I want to have the courage to do more recordings like this and share them with you.
I am munching on some spinach now. Just eating spinach is not quite as powerful as green drinks, mentioned in my free book, Joyful Vibrance: Transform Your Body Image, Energy, and Mood. However, it will do for today. Just listening to that meditation I feel more health and courage.
I need to start getting ready to visit my husband now. It is 37 degrees Fahrenheit and sunny. I will need my winter coat. Remember the day I got that? That was a blessing it came just in time. I have had so many blessings since.
Blessing to Leave Here
My husband and I even think it is a blessing we are leaving here. He has been concerned about the expense of this retirement community since even before I came to Colorado. I thought it would be the best for him, but we can do even better. I have to have the courage to believe we can.
I have a bit of laundry to do before I leave, so I also have some more time to type and edit. I am getting some pecans ready to take, so I do not snack on sugar while I am at the rehab center. That strategy does not always work, but it will today.
I think I am more clear-headed today than I have been lately. I have been living in survival mode, just on the edge of panic. If you find yourself in that mode, you are probably not reading this. You are too busy to do that. If you have a loved one in survival mode, help them out of it. The human body is not designed for chronic stress. Chronic stress will cause illness.
Fortunately the nausea I had so many mornings is not affecting me today. My prayer of exploration solved my nausea mystery. Since then I have been virtually nausea-free. My doctor thought it could be the altitude or dehydration, but I think it was low sodium. My doctor may not have remembered that lithium, my primary medication, drains the body of sodium.
I just ordered the gait belt and a copy of each of my published books that I mentioned last night. I got a note from the realtor.
It is almost 12:00 PM. I have some clothes I am waiting on in the dryer. I am looking at my list of October articles. I have one for every day. That is consistency! I even did it during a period of deep stress. Writing was my coping mechanism for stress.
It seems like my plans all fell apart yesterday. They had a therapy meeting at the rehab center for my husband. The rehab center representatives said he can be released next Wednesday, but they want him to have more therapy at home. A representative from our retirement complex came and described the therapy they can do for him here.
I will still have to leave here in a month, and the meeting participants thought the therapy would take several months. That will force us apart. I was not very happy during the meeting and afterward. My step-son said he and his wife could arrange for me to get a furnished apartment on a month-to-month lease nearby.
Soon after arriving home, I visited my neighbor to thank her for the burgundy vest and flowered top she gave me yesterday that went so well together and fit me perfectly. We sat and talked for a while. She mentioned her work arranging mentors for women. She encouraged me to memorize passages of the Bible, even whole chapters, and talked about how doing so had given her ownership of the Word. I accepted her advice. Hopefully, I can find time in the near future to memorize some Bible passages.
I still have my appointment with the realtor for today. Maybe he can convince my husband to buy the condo now, even though he cannot move into it yet. The problem is trying to convince my step-son as well. My step-son is going to be out-of-town until next week. He cannot meet with the realtor today, even though I invited him to. Besides that, he wanted to use his own realtors.
Everything is undecided. I still do not have a place in Colorado to park my things from Utah. Until I figure out what to do with my things, I have to pay the expenses on my place in Utah, and I cannot generate any income from it. Last night my mother complained that I left dishes in the sink when I left. Her comments set me off emotionally, and I started eating a lot of crackers.
My blood pressure is up this morning. I am obviously in survival mode. Having to pay for three separate places is going to stress our finances. What can I do?
Courage to Continue
I can start with summoning the courage to keep living. I was tempted last night to think of ending my life.