Thursday, January 24th, Day 142, Polishing My Self Image
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
Wow! The week is already more than half over. My weight loss resumed after a stalled second week. I have stopped eating ice cream. That is probably what is making the difference.
I look forward to brighter days ahead. My husband is doing better, even though he has not fully recovered. I have a game to play: Cronometer. It was not until yesterday that I actually thought of Cronometer as a game. Cronometer is a game tied to reality, as long as it is played honestly.
JV Life Tracker
I just scored 10 in JV Life Tracker. JV Life Tracker is a game too. For more about how to play it, consult my ebook, Joyful Vibrance: Transform Your Body Image, Energy, and Mood. You can set up JV Life Tracker to get up to thousands of points. I am doing a bare bones version of the game right now to save time.
I just listened again to my recorded meditation.
My husband is eating again! He is watching the news right now, with the sound on. Today, I played hard with Cronometer. I completed the diet log without any of the nutrients going into red, which would indicate that I have overdosed on them. I kept sodium under 2900 milligrams, okay barely.
I started re-reading Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I read it in 2011, and it spurred me into writing a cookbook and becoming a health coach. Now I am reading it again to really get it.
Dr. Maltz claims that self-image sets the limits on what an individual can accomplish. Fortunately, I had encouraging teachers throughout my life that reinforced my capabilities, even though my self-image was not that well supported at home. Now I would like to do a face lift to my self-image. I do not intend to flatter myself, but I want to polish my self-image, which has tarnished a bit lately. My self-image is far from constant. When I am manic, my self-image gets inflated. My self-image is depressed when I am depressed. I want a constant, positive self-image that is not inflated.
Value of Consistency
One thing I believe will help my self-image is living in accordance with my values. One of my values is being consistent. As I become consistent at writing and posting a blog post daily, it supports my self-image. I was consistent with JV Life Tracker for two years. Even though I have scaled down the scope of my master task list, I want to score JV Life Tracker every day and re-install that consistency.
Now I am also consistently playing the game of Cronometer, and it is becoming more fun every day. Today, I was very pleased with what I accomplished with it. My meditation practice was also more consistent from 2015-2017 than it is now. I am re-establishing it by listening to my recorded success meditation that is just 5:21 minutes.
I call these four things my Big Four. Last year with all the chaos in my life, they got derailed, but I can pump my self-image by reminding myself of how well I handled everything, including going home to Utah to my father’s funeral. I encouraged my husband to buy this condo, and now we are living here and able to save money. That is a huge accomplishment.
Value of Joyful Vibrance
Joyful vibrance is another value of mine. If you have followed me recently, you know that I almost gave up on this. I seemed to always be running out of energy, and my mood would drop, especially when I drove a car. Last year, while my husband was in rehab, I used Lyft a number of times to get to the rehab center. This allowed me to visit later in the evening because I was not afraid I would get too tired to drive home. It saved me stress and taught me a system that makes me independent of my car. Knowing Lyft also came in handy when I needed a lift to the airport when my father died.
Value of Financial Sufficiency
Having enough money is another value of mine. It probably is a value for you as well, whether you are consciously aware of it or not. Fortunately, my husband and I together have good resources. We still need to manage money, but we do not have to scrimp on every penny. I credit my husband for his good management of money throughout his life for our financial well-being. In addition, I have not done too poorly either.
I am glad that my husband thinks I look great at my current weight. However, I know my current weight is not the absolute best for my self-image. If I believe that I can fix that, it helps my self-image considerably. I think I will place my bets on using Cronometer consistently to get me to a weight that will enhance my self-image.
Relationship with God
My relationship to God is a part of my self-image. I read an old journal last night, and it shocked me to learn how much my concept of God has changed. In my journal, I found a logical fallacy in our conversations. I assumed that because something had always been a certain way, it always would be. What I assumed was that men would always find me to be defective. My husband proved that wrong. He does not believe me to be defective. It is fallacious to assume that men would always do that.
Now that I have a different concept of God, my conversations with Him are different. I am less afraid of doing something wrong now. I used to believe that if I just did everything God asked (complete obedience), I would go to heaven. Now I know that He has forgiven my mistakes in advance and only wants to help me progress further. His plan for me cannot be damaged by my mistakes. He has already taken them into His calculations, and He will even take advantage of my mistakes. Things are going to work out.