Thursday, December 27th, Day 114, Progress
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
It is almost the end of the year. My husband says this has been a wonderful year. It has been a rather stressful one for me. I have had some incredible experiences. I moved twice, got married, switched medical providers, flew to Utah from Colorado for my father’s funeral, helped my husband buy a condo, went to the hospital emergency room twice, saw my husband through 30 days of rehab, and got asked to leave my home twice. For this year, I scored 576 points on the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, which according to them, puts me at risk of illness.
Right now I am doing okay. Maybe I have more resilience than the stress scale predicts. I want to make progress. Perhaps I am making more progress than it seems.
Yesterday, I wanted to get the laundry done and finish unpacking. Instead, I picked up my medication at Target and got the mail. At Target, I also bought a plastic drawer set so I can make progress at organizing the bathroom cupboard. There are no drawers in our bathroom cupboards. I also checked out computer desks, but there was nothing I could take home by myself.
Meals and Sugar
I fixed decent meals yesterday and ate okay except for leftover pumpkin pie, which I ate without ice cream this time. Fortunately, I ate no sugar cookies either. I am thinking of getting rid of the rest of ones we have. However, my husband said to keep them, even though he has hardly eaten any of them. He does not realize how much of a temptation they are for me, even though they are not my favorite type of cookie. To really progress on my diet, I need to break my sugar addiction again. In the past that has take me several serious attempts to accomplish. I keep track of how many days I am sugar free, starting at a “birthday”. If I eat sugar, I have to adjust my “birthday”. Eventually, I achieved four years doing it this way.
No Forward Progress
I felt yesterday like I was making no forward progress on things. It felt very depressing. My husband said I was doing fine. He said a number of wonderful things about me, including that I was gorgeous and that I was making great progress. I am glad he was feeling good. I was worn out from my shopping trip even though Target is very close to here.
Last night I could not get the TV to work again. I tried for some time to get it going but without success. Then I felt bad I had wasted time with it. I did not make progress with the TV, but perhaps there are more productive things I can do with my time. Realizing that is progress.
My Husband’s Gratitude
My husband has thanked me a number of times for coming home and not giving up on him. He did not want to beg me to come back. I wanted to know that he wanted me. I finally took the lead and let him know that I wanted to be home in Colorado rather than Utah. Once he felt assured of my intention, he started asking me to come home. I have learned how to get my husband to express his desire for me to come home. That is progress.
I am glad I came home, but once again I am feeling that sense of overwhelm I experienced before. Fortunately, my husband is more independent than he was. However, the move has put nearly everything in disorder. I am having to find places for everything, and many things did not even have their own place before. The bedroom closets are much smaller than the closet we had at the retirement complex. Fortunately, we have two of them instead of one. The two together and the laundry room hooks provide about the same amount of closet space we had before, maybe a bit more. We had boxes of clothing that had not been put away at the retirement complex. I have managed to put away all the clothing here. Maybe that is progress.
My biggest frustration is not having desks for the computers. I am running my blog from a USB drive on my laptop. I want my desktop computer which has everything. I am on the phone with Office Depot about an item. It can be delivered and assembled, but I have to actually go to the store to purchase it. A local store already has it in their warehouse. There. Maybe I have made some progress at getting two computer desks.