Sunday, September 9th, Day Five, Rules
Wow! This is my fifth day, and I have lost five pounds already. I ate some chicken last night at 7:41 PM, bringing my calorie total to 1746. That was just right. I think I was in the window between what I burned and what I consumed.
My entry for yesterday helped me remember my thyroid pill first thing this morning.
My mood this morning is good. I am starting to see success. Let me take a few moments and think of how to celebrate it. Maybe I can get dressed and walk to the mailboxes. Doing that tends to feel celebratory.
I am back from my short walk. I also took some garcinia cambogia.
Let me think of my Top Five for today.
1. Big Four (Cronometer, meditation, JV Life Tracker, journal).
2. Take my husband to get stitches removed.
3. Make chicken stock.
4. Bake a whole chicken.
5. Enjoy the Day of the Lord with a worship ritual.
Mom asked me to send a card for Dad who is in a care center. She wants me to record a memory of Dad. A variety store in the clubhouse sells greeting cards. I think I will get one tomorrow and record a memory of when Dad drove me to work every day. He would pick me up at high school and drive me to McDonald’s, so I could work the lunch hour shift. Then he would drive me back to school, and then go back to work. He did that until I got my driver’s license several months later. Some of my best memories of Dad are of when he drove me places.
With Dad suffering from Alzheimer’s, I suffered some depression. I have become more interested in what can be done to prevent Alzheimer’s. Information is becoming more available on that. Alzheimer’s disease is now called diabetes type three. It is important to control your blood sugar levels. I have tried to do that for years in order to prevent diabetes type two.
I am now approximately at the weight I was when I got married. Getting rid of the first five pounds is a relief! I want to go further though and lose additional weight. This morning I had half a pear, half a piece of white pita bread, some chocolate Orgain plant-based protein, coconut oil, walnuts, and Balance of Nature Fiber and Spice.
I am a bit lacking in vitamin A and C. I think I will add Amazing Grass original green powder. There. Now I have more vitamin C, A, and K, and more calcium. I added some Ester-C powder as well. I like Ester-C better than vitamin C crystals because it does not cause heart burn. I used .5 grams of TMG powder as well as it dissolves nicely. By the way, using Amazing Grass for my snack yesterday worked out very well. I may try it again, but I do not want to repeat, repeat, repeat the same thing every day.
I am grateful for this beautiful day. I am grateful for my elevated mood and energy. You have blessed me. I am starting to see success. I plan to press onward and help guide others in their journey through the challenging process of losing weight while retaining their good mood and energy. Help me to express my happiness and joy in appropriate, constructive ways.
Help me to channel my exuberance and use it for good. Lord, you have created an interesting planet for us to dwell on. Please welcome the expansion of my soul and the dwindling of my ego as I embrace what is, rather than always feeling disappointed that I do not get exactly what I thought I wanted. Let me have gratitude for any outcome. Even disappointment can cause my soul to expand. Lord, bless this home. Bless the homes of my readers that peace and contentment will reign therein. Peace.
There. I feel a deep sense of peace. I am going to stop attaching myself to certain outcomes and accept what comes. I see that it is all for my good, in some way, even though I may not see it at first.
Now, it is time to do my meditation. I will use Finding Your Purpose again by Stuart Kaplan in Insight Timer. There. That is done. I usually lie flat while doing meditation, but today I sat up. Now, let me do JV Life Tracker for yesterday: 867 points.
Let me do some kind of exercise. I could start with the plank. Wow! 1:14 minutes. I think I can bump that up a second or two. I will do it for 1:16 tomorrow. My goal is to eventually do two minutes or more.
I did not get to my manicure the other night. Let me do that now. There. It is done. I had a cosmetologist come over the day before the wedding to give my husband and me a hair trim and manicure. The manicure has kept up fairly well. I just re-did it. All beautiful. Part of loving yourself is getting yourself fixed up. Do whatever is right for you. My husband says he does not like heavy makeup. My makeup routine is very simple. I do not wear eye liner or mascara. I wore blush for the wedding, but I think it made my pictures turn out too red. My normal color is great.
It is 11:30 AM. I am somewhat hungry, but okay. I can wait until past noon for lunch.
I had a very low-carb lunch with organic spinach chicken sausage, a large fried egg, Caesar’s salad, and Greek yogurt dill dressing.
I followed it up with a supplement cocktail:
1. Univera’s km Mineral Supplement
2. 1 pill each of astaxanthin, zeaxanthin, and lutein for the eyes
3. 100 mg ubiquinol, the reduced form of co-enzyme Q10
4. 3 pills of joint supplement of glucosamine chondroitin with MSM
5. 1/2 pill of silica complex of calcium/magnesium, zinc/boron/silicon
6. 20 mg of PQQ to build new mitochondria to recover fully from the CFS I had for so many years
7. Jarrow’s B-Right B complex and 25 mg extra P5P (35 mg total P5P)
This is a very powerful cocktail. Just as an example, I got my eyes checked seven years after getting reading glasses. (I do not wear glasses for distance.) My left eye was weaker, but my right eye was stronger, after that long.
Parable of the Talents
I think my husband has gone back to sleep. Just before lunch, we watched Joel Osteen’s message together on my Android. It was about the Parable of the Talents. He said to hide your fears and show your talents instead of hiding your talents and showing your fears. It is time for me to share some of my knowledge of nutrition. Today my husband said, “Talent is oozing out of you.” I am so glad to have his support.
Next on the docket is getting that chicken on to roast. But before I get my hands wet, let me write a little more.
I hear birds and airplanes around me. I hear the hum of the refrigerator and the snoring of my husband. Life is being kind to me. I could wonder at myself for some of my decisions, but I know that even if I have made a mistake, God still has a destiny for me. I am going to stop attaching myself so firmly to outcomes and allow the Universe to bring me whatever it will, because it will be for my good. That is not to say that I do not have goals and dreams. I do. It is just that my dreams are general now. I left an ebony baby grand piano and a Cadillac CTS in Utah. I would like to have them with me, but they were too big to bring, and there would be no place to put them here, even if I could bring them. They are not as valuable as my husband, and I have him here.
One thing I would like to be able to overcome is my freeway anxiety. I have prayed about it and talked about it with friends. My counselor has talked with me about it. I have put it on my vision board, tapped on it, and done hypnosis about it. I have felt the fear and done it anyway. The fear is still there. Maybe the only thing I can do is do it and feel the fear anyway. I would like the fear to go away. I do not believe I have ever driven my Cadillac on the freeway. In Colorado, freeway speeds are not as high as they are in Utah. I am able to drive the Santa Fe highway without much fear. It has a speed limit of 55 mph.
One thing that you must do during your journey of losing weight is write an illustrated vision statement. If you are so inclined, it would be even better to make a movie depicting your vision for your life. The statement and movie can represent what you want in general. It does not have to show your actual house or car, for example. Speaking of a house or car, these things should be secondary to what you want for your life. You want your statement to be about you, not about your things. Take some time to figure out what you want. Put the statement not only where you can read it but also where it can be updated. I am assuming you want to be at your ideal weight, and you want to have great energy and many positive moods. I suggest that you do not simply want a life that is free of pain. Lack of pain is numbness, and none of us want that.
Emotions of Power
You may want to have the emotions of power, described in Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins.
1. Love and warmth
2. Gratitude and appreciation
4. Excitement and passion
If these emotions excite your passion and zest for living, you could write something about each one in your vision statement and describe how you are going to exude each of these emotions in your life.
Circle of Life
I wrote a vision statement called 12 Things I Really, Really Love that bullet-pointed how I wanted to grow in 12 areas that compose the Circle of Life used at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition.
These areas are:
3. Physical activity
7. Home environment
8. Home cooking
Here is what I wrote for Health:
4. HEALTH I, KaeLyn am:
- looking good, young, and healthy, with clear, elastic skin and clean, fluffy dark brown hair
- having a slender look at 106 pounds, fitting into my clothes easily
- applying makeup in a manner that looks attractive and natural, enhancing my beautiful features
- carrying and holding myself with an elegant posture and poise that make heads turn
- eating healthfully
- sleeping restfully and adequately
- doing a hot towel scrub and exercise ritual to achieve my fitness goals
- practicing nurturing habits
- showering and bathing regularly, often with Epsom salts
- grooming graciously
- maintaining and growing healthy new mitochondria
- maintaining a healthy, robust immune system
- attaining mental acumen, aptitude, concentration, focus, health, and wellness
- consistently regaining a positive, optimistic outlook
- consistently taking supplements that support healthy, strong bones
- consistently taking supplements that support the acuity and health of my eyes
106 pounds may be a little too thin on me. I would at least like to get down to 110. I weighed 119.7 this morning. I am on my weigh (way).
My chicken is now herbed, salted, and roasting in the oven.
Wow! I have not dusted off this vision statement for a while. I was probably not much heavier than 106 pounds when I wrote it. How can I make myself more like this? I am already mentally rehearsing the swimming idea. I got myself to go swimming for a while and really enjoyed the activity and social life, but I let a head cold stop me. I believe I picked up the bug at the gym. Then I had a manic episode, and I could not bring myself to swim afterwards, so I let go of my gym membership. I have not been back. There are probably some limiting beliefs and fears in all that, which I could tap out some time.
My husband was telling me all the things he likes about me: my body, my brain, etc. He has helped me feel like a million dollars. I asked him if he liked my piano playing, my singing, or my dancing the most. He said he most liked the dancing. That is interesting because that is the talent I have worked on the least. I am glad I can do it here in Colorado.
That is not to say I have not worked on my dancing at all. I have done yoga off and on, and at times during my exercise ritual, I creatively dance in front of a full length mirror. A full-length mirror is another thing I did not bring to Colorado. I got mine at home at Target. If I can find room in which to put a full length mirror, perhaps I can go to Target here and buy another like it. But now, instead of being my own audience, I have my husband. Perhaps I do not need the full-length mirror any more.
The chicken will be done in 71 minutes. Perhaps I will spend some time in the Bible today. I read some of the story of Gideon to my husband. The chicken will be ready 24 minutes from now.
I ate a fairly large snack this afternoon, so I have a budget of only 324 calories for dinner and evening. It is just past five, and right now I do not feel all that hungry. Perhaps I can just have a bit of chicken and call my day good. I could eat a small potato (that I baked yesterday) as well and get a little more potassium. That is my plan for tonight. I am going to have a few minor holes in my nutrition for the day, but I think I am in pretty good shape. It is impossible to be perfect all the time.
Speaking of perfectionism, I want to discuss that at some length. In the religion of my birth, perfection is stressed, in fact, it is required, maybe not immediately, but eventually. I latched on to that belief to the point that I became very afraid of making mistakes. Now that I have changed my religious beliefs, I have relaxed. I still want to set high standards for myself, but I do not trigger the stress response when something goes wrong.
Perfectionism can be paralyzing. It can even cause us to bury our talents. This is one of its most insidious effects. Perfectionism can sabotage a diet. If we think we have to eat according to a rigid plan, keep rigid rules, lose so many pounds a week, complete our efforts by a certain date, then we may frustrate our own efforts.
Let us be guided by principles, not rules. We can say, “no dairy” when we could be saying something like, “I eat to enhance my overall health.” We can say, “I want to eat so much protein compared to carbohydrate,” when we could say, “I want to feel satisfied and happy.” Rules are okay. They are just meant to be experimented with a bit. If you break them, it is not the end of the world. Some rules have greater consequences when you break them.
You can have a hierarchy of rules: those you will never break, rules you can break for company, rules you can break if you are starving, rules you can break if you are hungry, and someone else’s rule that has no application to you.
Okay, I just thought all that up. Do whatever works for you.
I ate a part of a small potato and part of a leg of chicken. Now, since I forgot to weigh the leg, the question is: is my chicken small, medium, or large? Since it came from Costco, I might conclude that it was at least a large. There are four sizes in life: small, medium, large, and Costco-sized.
Calculating that way, this means I am almost 100 calories over-budget. Sometimes this is okay, so I should not panic. I can still lose weight anyway, usually. I set the budget on Cronometer for “Maintain Weight”, and I set my activity as “moderately active”. I have not entered in any exercises and usually do not. If I break even on this setting, I usually lose weight. A little exercise might be in order, but let me warn you. No amount of exercise will fix a bad diet. However, exercise is important. There. I took a circular walk.
Now let me check in on my mood. I am feeling a bit playful. I was cold earlier and put on a sweater. Now with the heat dissipating from the oven, I am feeling a little warm. I took off my sweater. I guess I do not feel totally sure that I am going to lose weight tonight. But does it matter? The weight loss game goes on and on. Sometimes you lose. Sometimes you gain. Once in awhile you stay the same. If it takes me another day to reach my goal, so what? Maybe I am afraid this book is going to end up being over 1,000 pages. So what if that happens? If I publish it as an ebook, it will not cost any more than a 300-page book to produce. What if my reader gets bored of it? So what? Does not that happen all the time anyway? How many people read books cover to cover anymore? I do, but is that the norm?
So, you can see that I am dabbling in my fears. Let me summon my faith. Things are off to a splendid start. I do not even feel hungry right now.
Let me say a prayer.
The day is starting to wind down. It has been a day full of good food, good company, and inspiration. Lord, I do not want to bury my talents any more. I want to multiply and share them. Will you help me know best how to do this? My audience is waiting for me. I need the courage to reach them. I doubt anything like these five entries has ever been written, not in all of the thousands of diet books out there. My personality is in this: my exuberant, slightly humorous, pseudo-intellectualized, sincere, wordy, warm, caring personality.
I do not want to be ruled by ego anymore. It is okay if I am not perfect. I would be of no use to anyone in this book if I was perfect. Help me to be successful in this journey, and help me to be flexible about what success means. Amen.
It is now 8:01 PM. The background of my screen is turning orange to reduce the blue light to my eyes and help me sleep better. You can set this in Windows 10 to happen at a time of your choosing. I chose 8:00 PM.
You may be familiar with a robot psychologist named Woebot. You can sign up for Woebot on Facebook and communicate with her on Messenger. Woebot guides you through exercises that can be pretty powerful for your mood. A simple one is to list three things that are going well in your life right now.
1. I am creatively expressing myself on topics I love in my journal that I plan to publish some day. My LLC is called Joyful Vibrance, and this is all about joyful vibrance.
2. I have already lost five pounds in my creative journey.
3. My husband loves me.
I just thought of something: I could publish these entries on my Joyful Vibrance blog. I could publish about one week after the fact to allow myself some time to correct and polish.
What do you think of my idea? It would create some immediacy in my sharing, and I would no longer be able to hide my talent. I would get myself out there and perhaps even attract an audience. If people have to wait for the book, who knows how long that will be?
Let me sleep on the idea tonight. I started these entries last Wednesday, so I could start posting them by this coming Wednesday. First, I am going to submit this question to muscle testing. I stand, facing north, and ask a yes or no question. If the answer is yes, I move forward. If the answer is no I move backwards. Let me check it out.
As I expected, the answer was a resounding yes. I will start posting by the middle of this week.
This way I will become published by the end of the week.