Saturday, September 8th, Day Four, Meditation
Bonjour! Last night was tough. My mood dropped significantly, and I felt like I was starving. I ate some more of the hash-brown omelette before retiring. This morning, I got up early. I regret having gained weight it is so difficult to get it off again. I could just give up, but that is not my nature. I need to at least stop gaining. Perhaps the only way to do that is by losing.
My husband is sleeping on the floor. He may have been too weak to get back on the bed by himself, and he may not have wanted to wake me up to help him. Sweet man. I do not want to wake him up to help him back on the bed just now.
Let me think of my Top Five for today:
1. My Four (meditation, Cronometer, JV Life Tracker, journal).
2. Take my husband to the emergency room to remove stitches.
3. Get the mail.
4. Create a category in this journal for this ebook and move my first four entries into it.
5. Get feeling better.
Let me start with “Get feeling better.” I told my counselor that the goal of my ebook was to help people lose weight without losing their good mood or energy. She thought that was a great idea. I think one key is to not restrict calories too much. That is why a food diary is so important. You must consume just a bit less than what you burn. That is the way I have been successful at losing weight in the past. If you try to limit your calories too much, you trigger the starvation response, and you eat voraciously. I must have triggered that starvation response yesterday.
I just accidentally destroyed my breakfast by pouring sea salt all over it. My mind is not up to par this morning. Perhaps I should wait on breakfast.
In every bad thing, there is the seed of something good. Let me say a prayer:
I am recovering from this minor disaster. I wanted to eat just to feel better, but perhaps there is another way. Lord, I need your love. I am your servant. I serve others as if serving you. You are my first love. I had a large (200 g) pear just now. It was fully ripe but not overly ripe. I enjoyed the fruit of the current season–the food you have provided for us to enjoy. It has lifted my spirits. I feel okay now, even without the rest of my breakfast. Send thanks to all those who raised, picked, and transported that fruit. Let my heart be full of gratitude for the dedicated hands that make my sustenance possible. What can I do, Lord, to contribute to society? I know my own hands are critical for the well-being of my husband. He says, “You are my wife. You are my life.” The work of his hands provided food on the table. Let me be grateful to my husband.
Lord, I thank you for the good feelings in my heart. Let me be grateful. Let me be of service. Help me to be strong and courageous.
There. I feel okay now. I am remembering the 12 activities Sonja Lyrbomirsky researched in her happiness labs. I think the field of positive psychology has something to offer us. We can study diseases and mental illness syndromes all we want, but where does that get us? Ultimately, we are all pursuing happiness.
Alright, so now I am feeling better. I have also created a category for this ebook, so I can keep all of these entries in one place.
It is time for my meditation. I would love to do it with my husband, but he is still asleep, and when he awakens, he may not be open to meditation. I have yet to teach him all its benefits. I do not think he understands the body’s alpha brain waves, telomeres, brain image scans, electromagnetic fields, or epigenetics. I have done some serious study the past few years, and so much of it has testified of the benefits of meditation.
My husband currently does not do much reading. He has a Ph.D. in economics, but he stopped doing copious amounts of reading when he was in college back in the 1970’s. He said he got tired of it. His eyes do not support him well in reading. We could get Talking Books perhaps, but he is hypersensitive to sounds and prefers silence. Let me not talk myself out of success in helping him continue his education. My husband is an intelligent man. Let me envision him understanding these things too. I am open to the blessing of the Lord in fulfilling this desire.
One book I really loved that I read recently was Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza. He was the first to help me better understand brain wave frequencies. I brought with me from Utah a CD of meditations that accompany that book, yet I have not played it since being here in Colorado. I have typically used it to help me fall asleep, but it is so much more. It is the fast track to alpha brain waves, the bridge to achievement, coherence, creativity, healing, and relaxation. I can play his CD on the computer, listen with headphones, and not disturb my husband.
I’m listening to Dispenza’s water meditation. Water is up to my eyes. There. I removed the headphones. Yes, that will work. I can listen to that CD while my husband is sleeping and I probably increased my alpha brain waves. I do not have equipment to measure that for certain. From what I understand, we experience a spectrum of brain frequencies. Certain frequencies such as alpha waves become more dominant during certain activities such as meditation. As adults, we spend most of our alert time predominately in beta waves. High beta though is the frequency of survival when we are under stress or anxiety. Some people are very dominant in high beta. I believe I have spent a lot of time in high beta.
I went back to bed, relaxed, and spent time with my husband. It is now 9:16 AM.
There. I had a garden salad with Greek vinaigrette dressing (from Garbanzo Mediterranean) for breakfast. I weighed each component and entered it into Cronometer. If you do not have a digital kitchen scale, I suggest you invest in one. Then start weighing everything. Think of the importance of the Millikan Oil Drop experiment, which finally determined the infinitesimal weight of an electron, revolutionizing science for the ensuing decades. Revolutionize yourself. Weighing may seem like too much of a hassle, but there is a very fine line between not enough food and too much food. If you do not eat enough food, you will feel miserable. If you eat too much, you will gain weight, or at least not lose. We aim for a very fine line between those two points–where you feel partially miserable, but it is tolerable. For me and probably for you too, it is almost impossible to hit the target without measuring. So measure, measure, measure.
JV Life Tracker
It is now 10:31 AM. I satisfied my husband’s appetite with some leftovers from yesterday. I put some km Mineral Supplement in his wine. He does not mind that, which gives me the chance to sneak in nutrition while he is hardly aware. I am starting to feel more rested and happy. Now it is time for JV Life Tracker. I scored 787 points, good, but not as many as the day before (Thursday). I probably need to do a greater variety of activities that count for big points. I will think of something. I worked on my Gmail for quite a while yesterday. I could give doing that more points. I just remembered that I did not score for strength training. I was going to give it 25 extra points. That brings my total to 812 points.
Let me think of something to not do, something that will not take any time that I can give myself big points for. I already give myself 30 points for not eating sugar. That is a biggie. What other bad habits do I have that I could get rid of at this time? I give myself 99 points for going to bed on time to break the bad habit of staying up late. That takes some thought. I could give myself multiple points for taking my thyroid pill first thing in the morning. That would be great. I think I will give myself 15 points for doing that.
Wow! I was able to go until one o’clock without needing any more food except a gingered lemonade. I did not even feel that hungry, and I did not even need a tapping session to help me. I prepared lunch by baking red potatoes and then warming already baked chicken breast and butternut squash in the oven. I served this with 12.3 grams of salted butter. Unfortunately my husband did not even touch his portion. I followed up lunch with my energy supplements and fish oil with vitamin E. So far, Cronometer says I have eaten 939 calories. It is 2:15 PM, and I do not feel hungry at all. I will skip my snack again and wait until 4:30 PM to eat dinner.
I am feeling slightly drowsy. I do not want to sleep however. I want to go and get my husband’s stitches removed, but he is sleeping again.
I am not sure, but I think I got through the morning on less food because I ate something I do not ordinarily eat for breakfast. It could be that eating the same thing day after day does not support me well nutritionally because I get the same old nutrients, and I’m not filling in the gaps of what I am missing. You could experiment with this and see if this works for you. You may be tempted to figure out your meals and eat the same thing day after day. I suggest that may not work. It has been my experience that every meal is inferior in some way. If we repeat, repeat, repeat, we start developing symptoms. We need variety. I used green drinks for many months and developed a chronic sore throat. I had to change my diet. I suggest changing your diet all the time.
My husband got up and ate about two-thirds of his plate. Good. However, he does not want to do his stitches today. We will see how he feels tomorrow.
It is approaching 3:00 PM, and as usual, I feel like eating a snack. This time, I think I am going to do it. I am going to change my mind. I am going to have some Amazing Grass powdered greens. That will fill in my vitamin K requirements and give potassium another boost. Remember that greens are the most nutritious foods per calorie. Now I have 91% of 4700 mg of potassium for the day. That is great! Potassium is probably the hardest mineral to get enough of.
While I am thinking about it, I want to check my blood pressure. It is 128/77, which is in the healthy range. If you tend to have high blood pressure, eating with Cronometer can help you bring it into a healthy range without medication. Get a blood pressure monitor. See what happens to your blood pressure in response to your food. Keep the potassium/sodium balance indicator in Cronometer in an optimal range. Sugar can raise blood pressure as well as salt, so keep sugar levels in a healthy range as well. Do your meditation daily. Watch your caffeine and alcohol intake. Taking an inorganic form of potassium will likely not budge your blood pressure. I have tried that before, and it did not work. If I remember right, it made things worse. It also gave me a stomach ache. For some people, just losing weight will lower blood pressure. That did not work for me however. Do whatever works for you.
It is 4:53 PM. I had my dinner, completing my nutritional needs for the day. Cronometer says I ate 1562 calories. That would be great if that is my final total, but judging from how I felt yesterday, I may require a bit more before bedtime. We shall see.
My husband said if I want anything, get it. Wow! He really trusts me. Today our shoe racks arrived. I had not discussed with him that I had ordered them. He liked them. We only needed one of the two. But that allows us to buy more shoes, if we want them. It makes me happy that my husband trusts my financial judgment. I did not expect that to happen so quickly in our marriage.