Saturday, October 6th, Day Thirty-Two
My husband is still in the hospital today. I came home last night to sleep. I caught up my blog this morning. I have also been praying about what course of action to take.
My husband asked me last night to get him out of the hospital today. I think the doctor is going to keep him in. Whether she will give us the option to discharge him, I do not know. I do not want to push for it however, because that will keep us from getting Medicare coverage for rehabilitation. I think rehabilitation is the only way my husband can possibly regain his ability to walk. He will lose it again if he drinks, so he needs to have alcohol rehab as well.
Should I throw out all the alcohol in this place? My husband will not be home for a while, so I have some time to think about that. I know he badly wants to get home and have a glass of wine. I believe it is his consumption of wine, along with his advancing age, that has so badly disabled him. I am not sure that he is going to admit that to himself. There is no way to moderate his drinking. I have tried a few techniques, but his appetite for wine is insatiable.
My weight has gone up again. It is at 119.3 pounds. Eating at the hospital is the worst thing to do while trying to lose weight. The meals are tasty, but they will put pounds on you. I have also eaten in response to stress. What can I do today to reverse this trend? I want to carry on with my goals.
Thank you for helping me get a good night’s rest last night. I was able to post three backlogged blog entries this morning. Thank you for my clear head. What can I do about my plans to lose weight? They seem sabotaged by my circumstances.
Perhaps there is a chance for learning something new here, something that could help others as well. Other people certainly are facing stressful situations of their own. Can I find a way to manage myself better?
I could meditate, but finding the time and space to meditate in is not always possible. I could take my headphones to the hospital, so I can meditate there. I know it is possible to meditate without guidance too. I have probably been doing that while waiting.
Are there any other stress-busting techniques that would help me at this time? I think mentally I could be in a better place. This morning I realized that as long as my husband is in rehab, I can probably stay here. The management will probably not make me leave. I cannot become a resident, but that is okay. I detected some flexibility in them, concerning how many days we have to get out. If I am not worried about being suddenly being booted out, that will reduce some of my stress. If I am suddenly booted though, I suppose I could go back to Utah. That is a last resort.
I am going to look at a condo today. It is local to this area. It does not appear to have a view. The critical feature it must have is wheelchair access. My husband may regain his ability to walk, but he could lose it again. In five years though, if he is still alive by then, we could go back to his retirement community because I would be old enough.
Here is another possibility. He could live here and get a condo for me. After five years, he could sell the condo, and I could move back in with him. I know he would rather have me live with him, but we could still be together a lot because the condo is so close to here.
I met the realtor at the front door of the building. It was quite a climb to get to front door. The condo did not offer much in closet space. It was nice though, and the unit was on the ground floor. There actually was a pleasant view of the condo complex, which is immaculately kept. The realtor called me after I left and said the unit did not have a stall in the basement parking garage, which also offered storage. The only access was the hike to the front door. “That nullifies the whole thing,” I told her. I have to have a way into the building with a transport chair.
It was easy to get to the hospital from the condo. The hospital was almost straight north of the condo. My husband’s son was here. My husband was still eating breakfast. Another doctor was here. We visited briefly.
Now I am here with just my husband. He is sleeping. I ate his auto-ordered lunch of a grilled cheese sandwich, tomato soup, canned peaches, and a small cookie. It was not the best for dieting but better than starving.
My husband appreciated me looking for a place even though it was not suitable for us. He did not want to consider the option of living separately. He said if I find a place, it must be for both of us.
A nurse wants to give him a flu shot. She complained that I laid my husband flat. That is what put him to sleep. She lifted his head some, but that did not wake him up.
So, what should I do? It looks like my husband will be released Monday I could spend most of my time at the hospital, or I could go shopping for a winter coat. I do not yet know about most of the shopping in this area I got the lightweight jacket I am wearing from Wal-Mart when I shopped there for my husband’s eyeglasses.
JV Life Tracker
I scored JV Life Tracker for yesterday. I got 914 points, which is not bad for a day I was in survival mode.
My husband is still asleep. Last night I told Mom I spent nine hours at the hospital yesterday. She said she does not do that for Dad at the care center. I probably will not do that every day myself. My husband’s eye has turned dark purple He looks rather tough, like he got in a bad fight. He is extremely gentle though He just had a fight with the hard tile floor
A nurse is here to give him a bath. Two nurses are working on him now. He has dried blood in his ear. They are hooking his chest to electrodes again, so his heart can be monitored.
I brushed his teeth. I made him promise to let me do that at home. He is happy to be clean. I am feeling kind of nauseated. I need medical attention for myself soon. The nurse gave him a flu shot.
The physical therapist started my husband on a walker. He did very well. She showed him how to safely stand up and turn around and how to move from his recliner to his hospital bed.
Dinner will be here shortly. I ordered pot roast, mashed potatoes, and salad with a banana for dessert.
Dinner is late. I snacked on half my husband’s giant cookie. I do not recommend that. I will work at breaking my sugar addiction again. It will take work. I am kind of bummed at myself for slipping into my own addiction again.
Before I get down on myself though, let me list my recent accomplishments.
- I got my supplement cocktail in my pill container this morning.
- I have posted a blog for every day for 31 days.
- I kept my counseling appointment Thursday even though my husband was in the emergency room.
- I have kept my husband company in the hospital for long hours.
- I have kept up JV Life Tracker.
I gained another pound yesterday. Sugar is my main enemy. I will get it back out of my life, starting today. Sitting around for long hours probably did not help me either. Today is another day. I am very glad I took some notes yesterday.