Saturday, January 5th, Day 123, New Years Resolution
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
The afternoon is nearly over. Daylight is already almost gone. However, days are getting longer, so there is hope of spring. Days 121 and 122 were quite a struggle. I considered not posting them, but I have hope they can help others. Today has been a little better, despite, maybe because of, my pulled shoulder muscle, which I am nursing with a hot pack.
I am up writing and my husband is silently watching TV. He says he is doing fine when I check on him, so there is probably nothing to be concerned about.
New Years Resolution
We had a beautiful New Years Eve together. I did not have much time to write earlier this week. I have not set my New Years resolution or goal, something I typically always do. Last year I did not set a New Years resolution either, and later that January, I had one of the worst depressive episodes of my life, which lasted for several months. Maybe it was lack of direction.
I would like to set a New Years resolution with my husband, but I think he is a bit put off by my self-improvement programs. He says he likes me just the way I am. What he does not realize is that the way I am is the result of many past self-improvement programs that have culminated in me being me. I believe if I am going to be the person I want to be in the future, I need to enact changes now that will get me there.
My most obvious goal is the one with which I started this journey, to lose fifteen pounds without sacrificing my mood or energy. I can just about start over with that, even though it is Day 123. My last weight reading was 123.9 pounds, which is barely less than where I started on September 5th, 2018 at 124.7 pounds.
Mood and Energy
Overall, my energy has been pretty good the past few months. The only serious difficulty I have had is just after driving. I have not figured out how to prevent that problem, except to not drive. Fortunately, my lifestyle does not require a lot of driving. My mood has been up and down, but since my marriage I have had neither a depressive or manic episode, both of which are seriously disabling. I usually have several depressive episodes a year and often a manic one as well. So, even though my marriage so far has been a roller coaster journey with many events, I was able to get through them without requiring hospitalization or special care.
New Years Resolution For 2019
So, I am at least partially successful already. Maybe my New Years resolution should be to lose that 15 pounds I want to lose. I know I can do it. My new married lifestyle does present special challenges. At least we are out of the retirement complex. The food was good, but the way it was presented did not work for me. Perhaps I could have adapted to eating there, but as it was, my weight was getting worse and worse.
So my New Years Resolution is to lose and maintain a loss of 15 pounds this year, along with maintaining my energy and mood. If I can go a whole year without either a depressive or manic episode, that will probably be the first in my adult life.
I want to do something to improve my spiritual life as well. Forcing myself to go to church is not going to work. The hypersensitivity of my ears causes pain in most Christian church settings. I cannot seem to make myself get used to the pain. Watching Joel Osteen on TV or the Internet works for me. I read his book, Blessed In the Darkness, early last year when I was depressed, and it gave me a philosophy of life that has helped me stay out of depressive episodes since. Probably reading more of his books and materials along with watching his messages would be helpful to me. So I am going to do that this year.
Tomorrow is the first Sunday of the year. I plan to listen to Joel Osteen on TV, my laptop, or one of my Androids. I mentioned it to my husband already, and he thought it would be a good idea.
I think I will focus on those two things without making a long list of New Years resolutions as I have done some years. I still have my Big Four (JV Life Tracker, Cronometer, meditation, blog/journal), which I will work on too.
The Titan Games
Tonight, we watched The Titan Games which are about ordinary people who have stretched themselves into unusually good shape to perform extraordinary feats. After winning, they said things like stay strong and don’t give up. That is what I need to do about my New Years resolution.