Saturday, February 23rd, Day 172, A Reason for Self-Acceptance
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
I just got out of the shower, where I was singing my affirmation, “I am happy with the way that I am!” After I got out, I saw my husband and continued singing, only to him. He gave me a kiss.
It is good to start a day happy, even though in my case I started the day too soon. Later, I may have a chance for a nap.
I had almond milk, V8, and a banana–lots of carbs, so I need to balance that with protein and fat. I got some Orgain organic protein powder, shredded coconut, and lecithin granules. That did not quite balance out to my goal of 50% fat/30% net carbs/20% protein, but it will do until lunch time. Unfortunately, I ordered sweetened almond milk by mistake this time. That does not work out as well in Cronometer.
I checked my Trends Nutrition Report in Cronometer again this morning. There is not much different there than before. I have done a good job of getting my nutrients, except that my intake of sugar and salt are a little too high. My average potassium level is 96% of the RDA. That is quite an accomplishment actually, as potassium is hard to get enough of. I have logged 2038 mg of potassium so far this morning, partially due to V8 and a banana. The low sodium V8 has added potassium chloride. This may be considered cheating, but I will accept the extra potassium. There is potassium in the vegetable juice concentrates as well.
My blood pressure is 120/82, without the help of medication! Wow! I did not expect it to be that good. Apparently, even though my sodium is high, getting enough potassium is helping my blood pressure.
The Cronometer food record for the frozen dinner I had last night, “Amy’s, bowl, Chinese veggies, frozen, with rice noodles tofu and cashew cream sauce”, reported no potassium, but there must have been some in it, so I must have had even more potassium than the 107% reported by Cronometer. I wish food manufacturer’s labels were complete, but maybe they will be in another century.
I will accept things as they are though. I am happy. I folded a batch of towels while talking to my husband this morning. He is gradually becoming more independent. He likes that because it frees me. I like it for the same reason. It also gives me hope that he is going to live longer.
I have four sources of quite a lot of potassium now: km Mineral Supplement, low sodium V8, bananas, and avocados. Cucumbers have several times as much potassium per calorie as bananas. However, cucumbers do not have that many calories. Potatoes, (even potato chips), sweet potatoes, and cabbage are good sources too, though typically I eat those foods with quite a bit of salt.
It is 6:26 AM–a long way to go until lunch time. Maybe I will have an avocado for a mid-morning snack. That may hold me until lunch time.
JV Life Tracker
I scored 18 points in JV Life Tracker for yesterday and logged the score in Cronometer. I have scored JV Life Tracker for 40 consecutive days recently, so I have significant data on my top goals. I can see how frequently I am doing activities, then I can set new goals to do them more or less frequently.
For instance, I did my meditation 22 of those 40 days. My goal is to do it every day, so I have achieved 55% of my goal. 55% may not seem that great, but in the chaos of life, it is often a great achievement to get more than 50%. I can score for another 30 days or so and see if that percentage improves. Since meditation is one of my Big Four, it deserves special attention.
If you want more info about how JV Life Tracker works, consult my free but valuable ebook, Joyful Vibrance: Transform Your Body Image, Energy, and Mood!
In my recent blog posts, I have commented on self-image and self-acceptance. I believe if I can get self-acceptance mastered I can be happy with whatever I achieve. I have typically pushed myself to do more and more and more, often not really taking stock of how far I have already come and really accepting myself for who I already am. At times I have gotten frustrated with my progress and have become depressed, which drives my activity level to almost zero. Then I have lost my vision of the future as well. I believe that with my new affirmation, “I am happy with the way that I am!” I can begin to master self-acceptance, balance achievement with self-satisfaction and overcome my tendency to get depressed.
Is self-acceptance something you struggle with as well? I am not sure why we are so hard on ourselves. I do not think everyone is, but I suspect that people who have a tendency to get depressed are. JV Life Tracker may seem like a hard-driving tool. However, it is just a way to get a picture of things the way they really are. When we see the reality of how many times in 40 days we have meditated, we can show ourselves some self-compassion. It is okay. We do not know where we were the other 18 days, but that is okay.
Where Does Self-Acceptance Come From?
Where does self-acceptance come from? It must come from the meaning we assign to data we know about ourselves. We have a space in which to decide what that meaning is going to be, and we can practice at being more compassionate with ourselves.
Perhaps I can see that although I only meditated 22 times, I scored JV Life Tracker 40 out of 40 times–a perfect record. Of course, there were days I scored for two days at a time because I got a little behind, but that is okay. Saying ‘that is okay’ is a meaning I can give that data, leading to self-acceptance. (Alternatively, I could beat myself up for not scoring absolutely every day, but that would not result in self-acceptance.)
Am I going to withhold approval from myself until I meditate 40 out of 40 days? That would be ludicrous, but that is what we do sometimes. No, I am going to approve of myself right now, even though I have only meditated 22 of 40 times, 55% of the time.
What Is My Reason?
We can approve of ourselves simply for scoring or for any reason. Or perhaps even for no reason. We do not have to have a reason to approve of ourselves, though it helps. Perhaps we can come up with a reason, any reason. That should always be possible. I worked with a robot psychologist Woebot, a Facebook app, for a time, which asks me to enter three things that are going right in my life right now. For some reason, I could always do that.
What Is My Reason Right Now?
What is my reason for accepting myself right now? I have not yet lost 15 pounds, but I have not given up. I am getting consistent with my blog, and I have improved it. My mood and energy are up. Moreover, my marriage is going great. I am happy with where I live, piles of snow notwithstanding. There are more than enough reasons to approve of myself right now. Later, I may approve of myself for some other reason. If I have to, I will approve of myself for no reason, but that will probably never be necessary.
There. I just did my meditation for today, so I have started the next 40 days off right, and I can approve of myself for that. My husband wants breakfast, so I am cooking him an omelette. He wants me to make enough for me too, but I have already eaten breakfast.
I am going to do my strength training with stretch bands. I approve of myself for doing that. Maybe I will do it more often. I also accept myself for not being consistent with my strength training recently. It is okay. I have a greater incentive now that I am hoping to relieve the backache that has been troubling me while walking lately, by strengthening my back.
I went down for a nap after my husband ate breakfast but was unable to sleep. However, I put my husband to sleep beside me. That is okay. I will sleep later. It is still only 10:09 AM.
I think I will go for that avocado snack I envisioned. I do not usually snack mid-morning, but I woke up around 2:00 AM and ate soon afterwards.
That was an 89 gram avocado, not a bad size for a snack: 149 calories. That should hold me until lunch. I am planning to eat a Neapolitan Shake for lunch. My husband will want a sandwich so I may fix him something separately.
I would like a walk in the hall, preferably with my husband, but he is still asleep.
1.9 miles later I am back. I walked approximately 45 minutes. My back feels okay, which is awesome. I talked to a few of the neighbors. Most of them commented on the snowfall we got last night. I logged my exercise in Cronometer.
As I predicted, I fixed my husband a corned beef sandwich and myself a Neapolitan Shake. Before lunch, I walked in the hallway with my husband: three laps again. I am going to start tracking his walks in JV Life Tracker. He did four of them already, so this is his fifth. If he does it every day, it will really improve his mobility. If he does not quite do it every day, it will still really improve his mobility. I will still be accepting of him if for some reason he does not feel like walking and can not get himself out there. I will just keep trying to encourage him.
I have cleaned up from lunch, taken my supplement cocktail, and talked to my husband.
Sleep, At Last
I lay down again. This time I slept a bit but not long. I am balancing my nutrients in Cronometer. When I eat a Neapolitan Shake rather than deli meat, condiments, and bread, I consume a lot less sodium. Maybe I can repeat that strategy. Also, with the help of low sodium V8, I got my full dose of potassium for the day, without needing km Mineral Supplement. That is assuming I am going to stir-fry some broccoli, onions, and 90% lean hamburger for dinner.
Eating an almost vegan diet except for dinner caused my zinc/copper balance to be a little low. I took an extra half of a silica complex to balance that. I also took four capsules of fish oil. Everything looks good now, if I can keep from being ravenous after dinner.
My husband suggested frozen dinners again, and I agreed. I am going to have another flavor of Amy’s, Indian Mattar Paneer this time. The oven is pre-heating.
A Reason for Self-Acceptance
I have never realized until today that I always have another reason to give myself self-acceptance. Instead my mind has typically searched for another reason to not accept myself. It has picked on me about the 18 times I did not meditate. If I focus on the 22 times I did meditate, not to mention the whopping 40 times out of 40 I scored myself, I think I will achieve self-acceptance. I can overcome my past, and with a little practice, always search my mind for a reason to accept myself and of course, always find something.