Monday, October First, Day Twenty-Seven

Monday, October First, Day Twenty-Seven

 

Morning

 
Wow!  Cronometer shows I was only 26 calories over-budget yesterday.  I lost 1.1 pounds.  I am ready to re-commit to my diet rather than giving up on it.
 
I am still so happy that my husband got out of the residence in his transport chair–three times in the past two days.   He was so happy he was crying for joy.
 
My husband woke me up three times in the night.  That is a slight improvement.  The first time I was not fully asleep yet.  The third time it was already past 5:00 AM, so that was not a big deal.  I would have liked to have slept longer however.
 
Consequently, I have been able to post already this morning, which is fortuitous.  It is now 7:06 AM.  I am a bit fatigued, but my motivation and drive are healthy, so that means I am not suffering from depression.
 
I took my thyroid medication just now.  How can I best organize my day?
 

Top Five

 
1.        Take jeep in for lube and radiator check at 9:30 AM.
2.        Do at least two batches of laundry.
3.        Big Four (Cronometer, JV Life Tracker, meditation, journal).
4.        Call pharmacy to see if they will fill husband’s prescriptions.
5.        Fill pill containers.
 

Pharmacy

 
I just checked with my pharmacy.  They do not want any more mail order business, so they will not fill my husband’s prescriptions.  That means I need to change the pharmacy information on his welcome packet at the medical center.  The question is:  what would be a reliable pharmacy?  Target is the closest.  I would have to drive to pick up his prescriptions, but it could be advantageous to have a pharmacy that close.  Let me think that over.  So the next step is to call the medical center.  They are not open yet, however.
 

Laundry

 
I just started the laundry and sang my husband a song.  He said, “Yeah, babe!”
 

Breakfast

 
I had:
 
Brown Rice and Almond Milk
 
60 grams cooked brown rice (cooked with sea salt, cinnamon, and cardamom)
49 grams almond milk
 
Coconut Walnut Fudge
 
18 grams Orgain chocolate fudge protein powder
22 grams shredded unsweetened coconut
3 grams lecithin granules
14 grams walnuts
4 grams Brazil nut (1 large)
.5 gram TMG
.3 grams sea salt
15 grams almond milk
15 grams heavy whipping cream
 
472 calories
 
Mix ingredients in a bowl.  Add a slight bit of filtered water if necessary.  Enjoy!
 
This meal provides a good serving of minerals:
 
Nutrient
% RDA
Calcium*
18
Copper
59
Iron*
35
Magnesium
28
Manganese
101
Phosphorus
39
Potassium
10
Selenium
149
Sodium
25
Zinc
19
 
* The RDA for calcium used here is 1,000 mg.  The RDA for iron for me is 8 mg, as I am a post-menopausal woman.
 

Evening

 
This morning I got the jeep lubed.  This afternoon I have been very tired.  I think it is partly from driving, partly from being awakened so often.  I tried to sleep during the day, but my husband wakes me up, so it is no better than sleeping at night.
 
This morning my husband asked me to go out to the dining room with him this evening, but later this afternoon, he said he was too tired to go.  He also is exhausted.  Tomorrow is his first medical appointment here.  I have not lined up a pharmacy for him.  I started to talk to him about it, but he was too tired to discuss it.  I was too tired to argue with him.
 
So what is the solution?  Mom says that to get her sleep when I was a baby, she had me sleep in a different room.  But what can you do if your baby is your husband?  I have heard of women sleeping in a separate room to escape their husband’s snoring.  My husband’s snoring does not bother me anymore, but the waking up does.  I could try to ignore it, and sometimes I do for a while, but he cries out all the louder.
 
Almost every night, my husband says, “I hate night.  Hate night.  You take your medicine, and you’re gone.”  I try to explain how important my sleep is to my mental health.  I tell him that it is impossible for me to stay up all night with him.  I ask him to not wake me up.  He says, “I’ll try.”
 
Apparently, I do not have a solution yet.  Let me take this up with my Higher Power.
 

Evening Prayer

 
Dear Lord,
 
I am getting so tired I can hardly write.  I tried napping during the day, and my husband woke me up.  I tried communication, tried explaining myself.  I tried extracting a promise from him not to wake me up.  I tried prayer.  I tried staying up until he fell asleep.  I tried ignoring him.  I tried going along with him.
 
I have not yet tried sleeping on the floor, and I have not threatened to go back to Utah.  We do not have a spare room or sofa.
 
Have I left any stone unturned?  Should I try any of these approaches again?  Staying up until after he is asleep does reduce the number of times I am awakened, but does not eliminate them.  Should I try earplugs?  I am sure I could hear his cries right through them.
 
Maybe the answer, Lord, is to sleep in the living room, possibly with earplugs.  The carpet is really plush.  I could get a pillow.  Even if my back ached from it, I do not think it would be as bad as the fatigue.  I could do it until his behavior changes.  I could shut the door between the bedroom and living room.  The only problem is that his behavior still might never change, and all I would have to show for it is a backache, and I might not sleep that well either, so I would be even more tired.
 
There is another possibility.  Remember what I said about Albert Einstein’s quote?  I can try something over and over again, and it just might work, eventually.  What if I tried communication again?  I could say the same things over and over, every night, like a broken record.  Somewhere along the way, he might get it.
 
I tried talking to him just now.  He had no response to the idea of sleeping on the floor.  I asked him for solutions, but he is not much at coming up with creative solutions.  He is more likely to block solutions I propose.  Communication did not seem to work too well.   He finally exclaimed, “Stop!  Stop!  Stop!”  I escaped back into the living room.
 
He called me back in, so we talked some more.  He said, “I just can’t sleep!”  I reminded him and myself, “I vowed at our wedding never to give up on the two of us.  We have to work this out.”  He said, “We will.”
 
Yes, we will.  Lord, I do not know how we are going to work this out, but we will.  The answer is not to go back to Utah.  It is to move forward.  I will stay in Colorado.
 
Another idea is to go back to bed after getting up in the morning.  I normally reserve that time for proofreading and posting this journey’s log.  I could postpone that until later.  Or I could post, then return to bed, hoping he will let me sleep.  He is usually asleep at that time himself.  I could wait until I hear him snoring.
 
The point is:  I have not tried everything yet.  I went back in the bedroom again tonight.  He got off the floor and got on the bed.  We held each other, saying, “I love you.”  We will work it out.
 
Lord, will you guide me on what to do next?
 

Tuesday Morning

 
My scale says I lost 0.4 pounds since yesterday!  I went to bed before 9:30 PM last night, and my husband did not get me up at that time, even though he was awake.  He woke me up only once in the night, about 2:30 AM.  He woke me again about 5:30 AM, which is the time I normally get up.  Things are getting better.  I will keep using communication.  My husband is an intelligent man.  He has a Ph.D.  Communication has actually reduced my wake-ups from every few minutes, to four, to three, and last night to two.  I have not had to sleep on the floor, and last night I did not have to stay up past my bedtime.
 
I got back in bed this morning after getting up.  I could not sleep, even though my husband was sleeping.  That could be my slightly hypomanic state.  Maybe I will try again later.  Right now I do not feel fatigued.  I thanked my husband for letting me sleep and for trying.  This will work out somehow.  There is reason to hope!

 

 

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