Monday, January 21st, Day 139, A Passion for Writing

Monday, January 21st, Day 139, A Passion for Writing

 

Morning

 
Today, I explored my passion for writing.
 
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
 

Sleep

 
Last night, I wanted to go to bed at 9:30 PM, but my husband wanted me to stay up.  His will prevailed.  I am a bit tired now, but my head is clear.  I may nap today, but I want to proceed with my day.
 

Utah Apartment

 
Last night, my niece called back.  I still do not know whether she will be renting my apartment.  She was undecided about her future.  I suggested she explore her other options before deciding about renting with me.  I would like her to commit to at least six months, but she is uncomfortable doing that.
 

Prayer

 
I feel like writing a prayer first thing this morning.
 
Dear Lord,
 
It is 5:00 AM.  I probably should have slept longer, but I kept waking up.  I am a little angry that my husband would not let me go to bed last night.  What should I do with those feelings?
 
Lord:  Are you okay now?
 
I feel a little tired, but my head is clear.
 
Lord:  I would let it go.  You know why your husband wanted you up.
 
Yes, I do.
 
Junk Food
Lord, I plan to eat better today.  I had some ice cream and leftover pizza yesterday, and I did not do well with them.  I thought I would keep my calories down, but by the end of the day, I had eaten a lot.
 
Lord:  Yes.
 
Gratitude
Lord, thank you for Your help the past two days.  I praise Your goodness in giving me all the necessities of life and luxuries as well.  I am grateful for
my new home
with upscale appliances,
my new Lenovo laptop computer,
my new computer desk with two drawers,
our new queen-sized, Simmons Beautyrest bed
with fancy, new, cream-colored designer sheets and pillow cases,
my scrumptious food every day,
and my Berkey water filter.
 
I am still enjoying the cute burgundy coat and
lighter pink jacket I got last fall.
My husband got a new extra-warm, navy winter coat as well.
I love my new pansy-printed nightgown
and super-soft, fuzzy, white bathrobe.
 
Writing this list could go on and on.
 
Most of all, I am enjoying togetherness with my husband seldom experienced by new couples.
 
Lord, if I ever have lack of gratitude, bring me back around.  I am blessed beyond my capacity to express.
 
Lord:  KaeLyn, you are blessed of me.
 
Afternoon
 

Singing and Dancing

 
After a morning of gratitude, I have been singing and dancing this afternoon.  My mood is back up to at least normal.  I fixed lunch for the two of us.  Now my husband is sleeping on the living room floor.  My mother called, and I arranged to throw away some items from my Utah apartment, making it unnecessary to move them to Colorado.
 

Piano

 
I also made an important decision.  I decided not to get a piano.  I want to focus on my writing instead.  My husband and I both have hyperacusis, which means we are hypersensitive to sounds.  Ever since my ear injury in 2011, playing the piano has not been as much fun because it has always caused some degree of lingering pain.  I regret leaving behind a passion, but I am even more passionate about my writing.  I think I can do more with my writing than I can with my music.
 

Sensitivity

 
Another important thing I have been thinking about is my own sensitivity to everything.  Barrie Davenport wrote an important work called Finely Tuned:  How to Thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person. She wrote that sensitivity is a normal, though less common trait.  She wrote an entire book about how to adapt to being sensitive.  When I read the book, I thought, “That’s me.”
 
As a sensitive person, it has been hard on me throughout my life to have a mother who lives a mega-stressful life.  The noise and chaos of her life was often more than I could handle, and I would look for ways to escape, whether it was writing in my journal or quietly meditating in my room.  My mother was judgmental about my tendency to do that and would look for ways to bring me back into the crowd.  The truth?  I hate crowds.  Now I accept those feelings as normal and try to build a satisfying lifestyle away from crowds.
 
In her book, Barrie does not describe ways of desensitizing.  She talks about accommodating to your sensitivity and even parlaying it.  She believes sensitivity is a positive trait.
 
Now that I have no doubt that I have this trait, how can I be a contributor?  Perhaps another read of Barrie’s book is in order.  She gives hundreds of suggestions.
 

Promoting My Writing

 
I am still not sure what I will do with my writing.  So far, I have published two of my books and am writing dozens of blog articles.  I need to do promotion also.  However, it would be good to find a way to promote my writing away from the crowd.  Facebook is a possibility.  I have about 350 friends on Facebook to start with.
 

Prayer

Let me pray…
 
Dear Lord,
 
Thank you for your support the past few days.  My husband is allowing me some time for my writing, which I really appreciate.  I have also been giving him a lot of time.  Help me to find a workable balance of activities.
 
Lord, I am a highly sensitive person, an HSP, as Barrie Davenport describes.  You mentioned my HSP status when we were discussing my music decision earlier today.  You mentioned how comments an old boyfriend made about a particular song I play come back to me every time I play it, and I knew him 33 years ago.  I played for an assisted living home two and a half years ago.  They never thanked me.  I took that hard and never played for them again.  That is being sensitive.  I wish I could take rejection better.
 
Focus
On the other hand, I probably need to focus my life a little more.  In high school, I tried to be good at everything, and before I went to college, I did not know what to major in.  Fortunately, I found computer science that suited me pretty well, but the stress in the field finally ended my career–maybe again because I was so sensitive.  I overreacted to criticism.
 
So, Lord, now that I am 57 years old and still a newlywed, what is the best course for me to take?  You have encouraged my writing.  About what?  My life?  I have a quiet and retiring life.  I do not travel much.  Can I write something that would be engaging for others to read?
 
I have written all these blog posts, but have yet to make a serious effort to promote them.  When companies call me about promoting my cookbook, KaeLyn’s Korner Kitchen, I avoid them.  What should I do?  Do I really have what it takes to be a writer?
 
Lord:  You do, KaeLyn.
 
I have read Guerilla Publicity.  Taking its suggestions is hard.  Are the answers in that book?  I read Recipe for a Cookbook by Gloria Chadwick.  Does she have the answers?
 
Lord:  Not necessarily, KaeLyn.  The first question to ask is:  what are you trying to achieve with your writing?
 
I would like to help people improve their lives.
 
How many people?
 
As many as I can reach within my budget and schedule.
 
Lord:  okay.  How much of your money and time are you willing to devote to promoting your writing?
 
I do not know.  So far I have not devoted anything, except the time to do the writing itself and put it on the Internet.  I have thought of writing messages to people about my writing and trying to reach them one-by-one.
 
Is that cost effective to do?
 
It might be more effective than the one-to-many approach.
 
You want to help people improve their lives.
 
Yes.  Is there a better way to word it?
 
Do you want to help people achieve joyful vibrance?
 
That would be great, but I cannot really claim to have gotten there myself.  I felt like I was getting there when I became manic, but then I crashed and had to start over again.
 
Discouraging.
 
Yes.  I nearly gave up on joyful vibrance entirely.  Now I am accepting emotions that are more on the level.
 
Is that working out for you?
 
I have had no depressive or manic episodes since I came to Colorado to get married.
 
Good.
 
I have to admit though that I have had some depression.  My husband’s habit can be discouraging.  However, I have not had the disabling type of depression that stops me from doing everything.
 
That is great.  I think that is a worthy goal in itself.
 
Lord, my husband is on the floor.  He wants me to join him on the floor.  I said I would go to bed with him.  He said okay, but he has not gotten up to go to bed.  I think he is unconscious again.
 
What have I taught you about handling him?
 
You said to love him.  Does it show love to lie on the floor beside him?
 
What do you think?
 
I do not like spending lots of time lying on the floor.
 
But would it show love?
 
I did do it for a while.  He was unresponsive.  Then when I got up and left, he called me back in again.
 
What is he doing now?
 
 

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