Friday, October 26th, Day Fifty-Two, Coping
My counselor said yesterday that she thought I was coping. Sonja Lyubomirsky said in The How of Happiness that finding ways of coping is an activity that increases happiness.
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
After all the trouble yesterday, I am sitting here peacefully, contemplating my day ahead. Even though I slept longer last night than the night before, I am still short on sleep. I feel badly that my adapter is lost and I cannot use my laptop at the rehab center. I have a few hours of charge on it, and that is all.
To Go or Not to Go?
What would be the best way of coping today? Should I even go to the rehab center today? The main reason I have been staying home some days is to rest up, but unfortunately, I am doing a poor job of resting up.
One of my coping activities, my book/blog, of course, has been occupying me. Also, my neighbor has introduced me to many of her friends. My neighbor seems to know almost everyone in the retirement community. She says she does not know everyone, but it appears that she knows many people. I have been flung into a social life, which I am enjoying–one of my coping mechanisms. However, being so much younger than everyone else, I do not feel that I entirely fit in. Besides that, I am a highly sensitive person, so frequent comments about my being too young for this retirement community affect me.
Coping with the Fear of Being Kicked Out
I am also beset with worries about being kicked out of here. I know a miracle is possible. I could end up staying, but I do not give that possibility a high probability. My husband said last night that if I cannot stay, he wants to go where he can live with me. He does not like the idea of our living apart. However, what place besides this one would be suitable for his needs and mine?
I guess you can see though I may be coping, things are far from being resolved. My husband’s son has plans to keep my husband here, but my husband is not fully committed to that. Of course, if you have been following me, you know my husband has experienced some cognitive weaknesses. Last night on the phone, however, we had an actual conversation, which we have not had in weeks. Maybe my husband’s brain is coming back. I do not want to get too hopeful, but I have reason to believe that things may be better than I thought. I suppose that hoping is part of coping.
Coping with Depression
One of my concerns is how depressed I got feeling yesterday. I think I had put a lot of stock in being able to work on my writing while at the rehab center, and losing my adapter made that impossible. I could still use Evernote on my Android, like I did at the hospital, but writing that way is cumbersome. How I am going to keep coping with that, I am not sure. Fortunately, my depression lifted last night at dinner time.
Searching for the Adapter
I searched the residence some more for the adapter. I looked into the possibility of getting it from Lyft Lost and Found. However, since my Android was reset yesterday, I have a new Lyft account with a different phone number. My old drivers are inaccessible to me. My step-son checked the Lost and Found at the rehab center yesterday, and it was not there. It seems that fate is conspiring to keep that adapter away from me.
Coping by Finding Purpose
Perhaps there is a reason this has happened. God may have a purpose for it. When my computer broke, I found purpose in that. If I see a purpose in what has happened, that will be an important coping mechanism. The most obvious possibility is that using the laptop at the rehab center could possibly damage my relationship with my husband. The purpose of God may be to preserve my relationship with him.
Now that he is doing better, I can actually have a conversation with him. I do not know if he is ready to plan our future, but he said last night that he wants us to live together. I could not get him on the phone just now, but he could be having breakfast in the bistro.
I think I will go to the rehab center from about 12:30 PM to 7:30 PM, taking Lyft. My husband is only going to be in rehab a few more days. A seven-hour stay is quite lengthy, but I am sure my husband will appreciate it. That way I can eat lunch before I go, making it unnecessary to eat two meals at the rehab center–my way of coping with the weight gain I typically have when eating two meals there. It is 10:14 AM right now. I can hopefully get a nap before I go and cope better with my fatigue.
Coping via JV Life Tracker
Rather than start from scratch with JV Life Tracker, I think I will start my master activity list from where it was in Utah. I can delete activities that no longer apply to my life, but there are many exciting activities on that list that I could reconsider doing. I am coping with the loss of my JV Life Tracker data by finding a silver lining in the dark cloud. I took a nap just now and worked on my master activity list.
Saturday Morning — Still Coping
My visit to the rehab center yesterday went well. I took Lyft. Taking Lyft is a coping mechanism itself to deal with my driver’s fatigue. My step-son visited. My husband did his therapy. He is still working at getting into a walker by himself. He stepped up on a six-inch platform while holding his walker and stepped on another platform that rocked sideways (left and right) and then forward and backward. He is becoming more independent.
During dinner, I visited with one of the other residents, an 85-year-old woman who wanted us to check out her assisted living place. She gave me her name and the name of the assisted living complex she lives in. She said there is a 59-year old minimum to get into the place, but she thought they would make an exception for me.
Coping by Having Time Alone
My husband watched the World Series again, which again gave me some time for my own thoughts and activities. That helped me cope too. I worked some more on JV Life Tracker, deleting activities I no longer can do.
Pleasant Conversation and Treats
The Lyft ride home was especially pleasant. The driver treated me to a Snickers bar and vitamin water. It was only his fifth day driving for Lyft. We talked about going to college, and I told him about the various software engineering assignments I had over the course of my career. I said the original IBM PC dinosaur came out just one year before I graduated. He said that puts things in perspective.
Coping by Talking to Friends
I talked to my neighbor across the hall and my friend in Utah after returning. Mom is at a family reunion. She was not reachable by phone.
Activities that May Have Contributed to My Weight Loss
Surprisingly, I lost some weight this morning, from 121.5 pounds down to 120.2. I think the actions that helped me were:
- Taking 3 pills of garcinia cambogia, which seems to increase my metabolism.
- Eating breakfast and lunch at home with sauerkraut, pears, broccoli, and tomato.
- Recording breakfast and lunch in Cronometer.
- Eating about 200 calories only of sugar-free cookies for an afternoon snack with no other afternoon snacks.
- Eating part of a salad for dinner besides a 360-calorie turkey wrap.
- Eating a very small dessert for dinner, about two ounces or so of Black Forest cherry cake.
- Drinking the Raspberry Green Tea vitamin water but not eating the Snickers bar. Green tea can help you lose weight.
- Eating only chicken breast as a snack after I returned home; the protein and fat controlled the insulin rush.
I was afraid the chicken and dessert were going to cause me to gain weight, but not this time. I was careful throughout the day as a whole. It was not ideal. My day was not gluten-free or totally sugar-free for instance, but I was coping.
Coping by Getting Enough Rest
I slept in until almost 8:00 AM this morning, my best coping mechanism so far–getting more rest.