Friday, November 9th, Day Sixty-Six, Jacque
The highlight of my day was visiting Jacque. She gave me a copy of her biography.
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
I feel much better this morning and am not even achy from sleeping on the floor. Maybe the joy of former days will come back.
This morning I ordered a multi-vitamin and a separate 1,000 micrograms of folate for my husband as recommended by the doctor at the rehab center. I also need to get underwear for him. He is not sure of what he needs, which makes it hard to finalize the order. Whatever he needs, he will need it soon, so this is becoming urgent. Maybe I should just order something right away.
We now have the needed underwear via Instacart. That came very quickly. I have been straightening up the residence, going through the mail, eating, and preparing food and coffee for my husband. He has been walking unaided to the bathroom! We have been talking.
I prepared paperback copies of KaeLyn’s Korner Kitchen and Scarlet Night as gifts in a gift bag for Jacque.
I visited Jacque Ver Straten for a long time this afternoon and gave her the two books I mentioned. She paged through the cookbook and asked me to order four copies, one for each of her four daughters. I read her part of a chapter of Scarlet Night, where Katella performs with Marco for his friends in New York.
Jacque gave me a book Dina M. Arce wrote about her life, which contains photographs. It is entitled, Someday I’ll Have Pretty. I told her about my most recent trouble with depression, letting her know also that it was short lived and that I am okay now.
Take A Nap Rather Than Drink
I am struggling with my husband. He wants wine. I have not let him know where the wine is. I even decoyed him a bit. His son said he would come over tomorrow and get the wine out of the residence. I pray I can stay strong, and my husband will not get ugly over it. I invited my husband to take a nap rather than drink, so he is lying on the bedroom floor now. Whether it will help to get rid of the wine, I am not sure. My husband may rush to replace it. As long as he believes it still exists, he may wait before spending money he does not need to.
A physical therapist from Centura Health came over this afternoon and went through paperwork with my husband to initiate therapy with him next week. She also gave him exercises. She tested his ability to walk. Saying it was a bit wobbly, she recommended he use a walker while walking.
Our rehab equipment came. Actually, my step-son delivered it. He knocked on the door, but my husband did not answer in time, and I was visiting Jacque. The equipment had accidentally gotten delivered to my step-son’s home rather than ours. Like I said, he is planning to come over tomorrow to get rid of the wine. I think he will set up the equipment as well, if I do not do it first.
My husband has calmed down. He took the medicine I gave him. He wants us to sleep on the floor again tonight. That will be okay with me because I slept well last night on the floor.
Let me say a prayer for our future together.
You have protected me so far. So far, my husband is not drinking again, and he has not done anything to hurt me. I have been able to protect him. I have said over and over to him, “I want to protect you.” He has said to me repeatedly in the past, “I want you to protect me.” He wanted me to protect him from DUI’s by doing his driving for him. He wanted protection from the consequences of drinking. I did protect him from many of the consequences of drinking, but I cannot possibly protect him from everything. I could not keep him from splattering his head on the hard tile bathroom floor.
If he gets his own alcohol, I cannot even protect him from drinking. Lord, help me to do what I can, but please help my husband to see that drinking has no good consequences for him. Help him to say no to himself.
Life or Death
Unfortunately, for him it is a matter of life and death, the ability or the inability to walk, the ability or the inability to think clearly, the ability or the inability to manage his affairs, the ability or inability to remember yesterday, the ability or inability to spend time with his granddaughters. How far will I go to protect him from alcohol? I do not want to endanger our marriage. I decided on October 28th to hold high the value of marriage. If I made the wrong decision in this, Lord, let me know.
We Are At Peace
I just checked on my husband. He is lying on the bedroom floor. I asked if he was asleep. He said no. I asked if he was okay. He said yes. We are at peace, and he has had no wine today. Can we always keep it that way, Lord? We can?
As far as I know, my husband has not blamed alcohol for any of the adverse things that have happened to him lately. He has not blamed himself or me either. Maybe no blame is necessary, but it would be advantageous if he could see clearly what it takes to prevent a recurrence and commit himself to a course of action that would give him his freedom.
I just checked on him again. He did not want to do his physical therapy exercises again tonight. He said he got very worn out from doing them earlier today. I put his sleep medication near him so he could take it when he wants.
I need to fill my own pill containers. There. That is done.
Reading About Jacque
I read part of Someday I’ll Have Pretty about Jacque Ver Straten. Jacque had such a sad childhood. Her horrible birth crippled her left arm for life. Jacque’s mother abandoned her when she was a young child. In contrast, her adult life was very happy, and Jacque is a very beautiful woman now with very few wrinkles considering that she is 86 years old. She keeps a beautiful residence with nice furniture. Even more beautiful than her home and appearance is her beautiful heart. She has prayed for me and my husband many times now. Jacque has given me solid support during this difficult time. She has invited me into her world and let me know that I am loved and wanted. I had only summer clothes, and she gave me some of her favorite warm clothing. Jacque even let me play her keyboard.
I can hear my husband snoring in the other room. I may have to wake him up to take his sleep medication. He did not mention wine again tonight. I am grateful for that.