Day 691, Transition

 
Transitioning from one antidepressant to another is my main goal for now.  Today is my first day without Imipramine since starting to take it.  So far, so good.  No depression yet or any other weird withdrawal effect.  Since I am on the lowest possible dose, my doctor said to take it every other day for a week and then stop taking it.  That may be a rather quick cessation.
 

Transition

 
I am planning to transition to SAMe again after I quit Imipramine.  I do not need a prescription for it.  However, I have my doctor’s okay.  He hoped to get me on Vraylar or Latuda.  However, both of these are exorbitantly expensive.
 

Grocery Shopping

 
I just now finished the grocery shopping for the day and am a bit fatigued.  Fortunately, I found a place to put everything.   After inadvertently eating enough at snack-time for the entire day, I started a 17-hour fast for tonight and tomorrow.
 

Next-Door Neighbor and Her Chihuahua

 
While walking to the library today, I met up with my next-door neighbor.  She wanted to check out a DVD to occupy her chihuahua when she is out of her condo.  We walked together and caught up on things.  While sitting on a bench outside the library, I held George’s leash while she went in.   Her dog was ecstatically jumping up and down when she returned.  She was grateful she did not have to tie him up alone as there are coyotes in the area.
 

Movies

 
I got a DVD too earlier.  However, it would not play on my computer.  I tried a few things, but nothing worked.  I will take it back.
 
Family Support
 
Last night, I had a long talk with Mom.  She invited me to call her if I need her for withdrawal symptoms or for any reason.  I am hoping the transition will go smoothly.
 

Why Am I Making This Transition?

 
What do my readers need to hear?  I have been so excited that Imipramine eliminated my depression.  Then my doctor ordered an EKG, and the EKG was abnormal.  Even though my energy has been sufficient, I cannot take chances with my heart.  I do not want to be a cardiac patient too.  I know SAMe will help, but I get break-through depression with SAMe.  What can I do to get what I have enjoyed these past two months?  What would you do if you had to make a transition yourself?
 

Meditation

 
I will not give up.  I still believe that non-drug solutions may be vital.  Yesterday, I checked out a book Stress Less, Accomplish More about Ziva Meditation.  Could Emily Fletcher have the answers I seek?  I started reading the book last night.  It helped me relax.  I have been sleeping better lately, but I could still improve.  If I can manage stress, that would probably help my sleep.  Better sleep would help me control my bipolar through this transition and beyond.
 

Money Stress

 
The past two weeks have been stressful with the replacement of our furnace/air-conditioner and the hot-water flood during installation.  The most stressful aspect was probably the cost.  I have been blessed; my husband had enough money.  However, I was nervous about spending so much of it.  Then, I bought a new top-of-the-line Android on Friday.  Hopefully, the benefits of having a much more powerful Android will outweigh the cost.  Perhaps, it is a useful thing to have during this transition.
 

Thursday Afternoon

 

Support From a Neighbor

 
My next-door neighbor, a beautiful, tall blond woman who is less than two years my junior, had more fun visiting with me today.  Before the pandemic, she conducted tasters at Whole Foods.  Initially, she came over for a drink of my gingered, stevia lemonade.  While sipping the cold refreshment, I showed her my library books.  She thought I should start a book club and choose the book.  I asked her if she would get the people there.  She used to read a lot of psychology herself.  Before she left, we also had a plate of kale salad.  Neither of us committed to the book club.  However, it is an idea for building a community, which ironically is the topic of one of my library books.  As I get into reading it more, maybe I will revisit the idea.
 

Walking

 
The walk to the library today was hot.  I did not go into the library today.  Instead, I turned around as soon as I reached the park.  I walked home before it was too hot.  Fortunately, I got back at the same time as my neighbor, so it worked out serendipitously.
 

Beauty During the Transition

 
What an idyllic place this is!  The summer months are sometimes hot, but rarely more than 100 degrees F.  Professionally landscaped dwellings and sidewalks are all the way between here and the library.  You can often see the local wildlife: rabbits, young and older.  Many breeds and mixes of canines are on almost every corner, with their attendant owners, walking them along.  Sometimes, you can see a feline in a window.
 
Especially at the park, there are many birds, especially black ones–probably crows.  Bunnies are there too.  Besides the cascading waterfalls, the trickling brook, and the water jets, I especially like the wide variety of flowers.  Except for the fuchsia bush roses, daisies, and lavender, I do not know the bloom’s names.  They are probably selected for the Colorado, high-altitude environs.  I searched the Internet for a long time for a graceful, pale yellow floral I see there but could not find it.  Perhaps, it is rare.  I will have to put my new camera in service soon and show you the petals.
 

Pain and Your Mood

 
When surrounded by so much beauty, how can my mood go down?  I can get caught up in aches and pains, especially my TMJ.  However, I have exercises for my TMJ, and meditation can ease the edge off any discomfort.  I reloaded my Hypnosis app by Joseph Clough.  (I had removed it from my two previous Androids because it requires a lot of disk to download the mp3s, and both Androids were tight on space.)  I listened to the weight-loss self-hypnosis mp3 this afternoon and drifted into a trance.  I do not know what was on the recording consciously.  However, it may help.
 

Intermittent Fasting

 
It is now past 5:00 PM.  I have already started my intermittent fast, so I will not eat anything more this evening.  My husband will likely want some food, however.  Last night, I broke my fast before bedtime, so I am working doubly hard to stay committed to my regimen.  The TMJ tension I am currently experiencing sometimes gets worse during a fast.  It seems that the more consecutive days I abstain from food, it gets easier to do–less TMJ pain.  If I break the routine, I have to start over before reaching the same level of ease.
 

Transition Continues

 
The transition will go beyond this blog entry, so I may say more about it in future posts.  You are fantastic to submit yourself to so many details of my life.  Feel free to enter comments at the bottom.  If you have ever made a medication transition, you understand the trepidation and uncertainty I am experiencing.  Fortunately, I have used the supplement/medication I am transitioning to before.  However, it has never been 100% successful.  
 
I want my depression to be gone for good.  Taking a little more might help.  Yet how much can I take before I trigger mania?  There are so many unknowns, even with something I have used before.  I have taken up to 600 mg a day.  A doctor once prescribed 1,000 mg.  However, he was not a psychiatrist, and once he gave me advice that led me to a costly manic episode.  I forgave him for that.  However, I would not let him prescribe my psych meds afterward.
 

Prayer

 
 
EVENING PRAYER
 
Dear Lord,
 
I am making a transition with antidepressants.  In 2004, I tried to go without them.  However, I experienced a painful depression.
 
A few seconds ago, my husband said, “You are clean, neat, and you’re smart.”  I am glad to have his endorsement.  While getting him his sleep meds, I noticed the kitchen needs attention.  However, my husband is not worried.  He knows I will get to it.
 
Lord, will you help me through this transition?  I have already noticed my mood coming down.  However, I had fulfilling experiences on my walk and with my neighbor.  Still, she has been threatening to move out.  I have been encouraging her to resolve her differences with the people she says are harassing her.  Only the future will tell what she will do.
 
Lord, what do you think of the book club idea?  I shunned something similar in Utah because I wanted to select my own material.  Consequently, I do not know much about book clubs.  Let me read my library book about building a community.  I know I should get involved in something.  However, that is a should statement.  If it makes me feel guilty, that is not helpful.
 
It makes me feel kind of down to think that I must do something, so give me some time.  I will only do something if I want to.  Given enough reasons, I may want to.
 
Tomorrow, our cosmetologist is coming.  I hope she can repair a fingernail that broke while I was assisting my husband.  I talked to her on the phone today, and she said she will try to mend the nail.
 
I am grateful that my husband supports her coming over.  We always have a fun time while she is here.  Lord, thank you for my beautiful life, and once again, support me through this transition.  If my readers are transitioning too or have loved ones who are, help them as well.
 
Amen.
 
If you would like to join me on this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.  If you wish to download a FREE copy of my ebook (with no need to enter your name or email), click on the book below.
 
 
 

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