Day 514, How Do You Build Trust with Your Connections?

 
“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”
Corrie ten Boom
 
Preparing For My Day
 
5-10 things I am grateful for:
  • finally being able to compile my FREE tool, JV Life Tracker on the new Google platform
  • getting started on my fifth project
  • cumulating 1559 minutes on my 5 projects in January 2020 (with more to come)
  • getting my husband out of a medical bill by merely asking what service it was for
 
comments, feelings, ideas, moods, and empowering questions:
Yesterday, I realized I did not have to decide something for the rest of my life today.  I can decide tomorrow’s decisions tomorrow.
 
Would a gold background with black text look good on JV Life Tracker?
 
 
0-100
comments
mood:
90
I am grateful at last to get unstuck with my Android project.
energy:
50
I have been tired, however, so I took some breaks today.
 
accomplishments:
 
accomplishment
the reason it is important
next action(s)
1.
Android JV Life Tracker compile and installation on my device
Projects
Make some enhancements and update Google Play.
2.
I scored my first three days of Eating Timing Management (below).  They were not perfect, but I am developing self-control.  You can borrow my scoring system if you desire.
Self-Control
Continue aiming for a perfect day.
 
EATING TIMING MANAGEMENT
1.
 
15-Hour Fast
3
2.
3.
4.
Between breakfast and lunch
2
5.
Between lunch and repast
2
6.
Between repast and dinner
3
7.
 
Perfect Day
 
8.
9.
10.
 
Total 3 Days
10
 
Average
3.33
 

Friday Morning

 

Out of Depression

 
I got out of my depressive episode!  Now I am working at getting my life going again.  I made significant progress programming my JV Life Tracker app yesterday, managing finally to get it to compile on the new Google platform.  Also, I am still logging activities in my time log.  That is consuming time itself, but since I am selective about what activities I am doing, it is manifesting itself in higher point totals in JV Life Tracker.  For yesterday, I scored 148 points, which is the highest I have earned for a while.
 
As you can see above, I started my Eating Timing Management (ETM) program.  However, I have not scored a perfect day yet, and today is no better.  Nevertheless, I do not plan to abandon this program.
 
I still feel some reluctance to do certain activities, but the feeling is not as pervasive as when I am depressed.  A lighter, more even-tempered feeling, along with bits of humor, is engulfing me.  I pray this new way of being will persist, and I will nurture it to the extent I can, given my level of understanding.
 

Trust

 
I am still read Motivation Manifesto by Brendan Burchard.  Beside it, I started a library book called The Code of Trust: An American Counterintelligence Expert’s Five Rules to Lead and Succeed. Though I do not understand the lingo of counterintelligence very well, Robin K. Dreeke’s understanding of the emotional part of the brain is familiar to me.  I did not realize that amplification of neurotransmitters is also associated with trust.  Robin believes that being 100% trustworthy and proving you are are crucial to success.
 
He gives a formula for I would say “winning the trust” of connections, but he does not think of it as a game with tricks and manipulation.  He believes trust must be genuine, or it will not be lasting.
 

Connections

 
In my most recent exchange of emails with my mother, I came close to accusing her, which is one thing you never want to do to build trust.  However, how could I tell her that I was hurt?  I obviously have not figured that out.  She seemed oblivious about what she had done to hurt me.  Even my explanations did not elucidate that for her.  She wanted more detailed examples.  However, I am concerned that to offer that would seem all the more like an accusation.  I emailed her back, saying that if she had forgotten what she said, I might as well forget too.
 
However, I have not–yet.  I am still afraid that my mother will say even more against me.  I hope she does not speak against me behind my back.  I have not had a great deal of evidence that she ever has, thank goodness.  However, what she says to me often troubles me, not because it is true (in fact, for the most part, it is not), but because she is the one who said it, and she is my mother.
 
Counseling
 
I went to counseling on Wednesday, seeing this counselor for the first time.  She had done a fabulous job of doing her homework about me, carefully reading and memorizing the intake report.  She said that I will always want the acceptance of my parents.  Humans are just that way.  She admitted that I will probably never get as much acceptance as I wish and advised me to concentrate on giving myself approval.
 
Clearly, who is scoring my life?  I am.  I know where I am strong or improving.  I am still undergoing the transformation I started years ago.
 

Validation

 
Robin Dreeke said that one thing we can offer our connections that they desperately want is non-judgmental validation.  That is what I have sought from my mother.  A former counselor told me that it was okay to want validation, but it could be a problem if I needed it.  If I cannot get validation from my mother, perhaps the next best thing is to learn how to give it to myself.  I have not always scored really well at validating others, maybe because I did not learn that lesson very well at home.  I have tried from time to time to confirm my mother.  She has not always been appreciative of the way I did it.  I am not sure what she really needs in the department of validation.
 
I am starting with validating my husband.  It seems the more I validate him, the more validation he gives me.  So those efforts are working successfully.  Now, I can spread my efforts to my other connections.  So far, I have had some success with my step-son.  He is a very conscientious, intelligent, and hard-working individual.  He regularly asks us what favors he can do for us.  Just acknowledging that seems to improve not only my relationship with him as his new step-mother but also his relationship with my husband.
 

Mindmap

 
So am I on to something?  I think I am.  Below is a mindmap of the activities Robin Dreeke says will build trust.  Fortunately, I am not in the business of recruiting spies.  It seems if you can build trust in that arena, you can anywhere.
 
 

Prayer

 
 
AFTERNOON PRAYER
 
Dear Lord,
 
I am feeling so much better after starting to keep a time log of my projects.
 
Since January 18, 2020, I have logged the following minutes:
Project
Min-utes
279
906
Serif Affinity Designer
227
27
120
Total
14
 
This is just a start.  I look forward to creating beauty in my work.  Please remain with me so that my efforts will produce pleasing results for you.
 
My husband is doing well.  For that, I am grateful.
 
Lord, I am reading a book about trust, which is different than any book I have read on the subject.  Also, I want to achieve trusting relationships.  Lord, will you guide me, as you
always do along the right paths?
 
I fear that having a mental health condition has put me at a disadvantage in terms of trust, even though I have done my best to be 100% trustworthy.  It is a handicap I need to overcome somehow.  What can I do?  Where can I continue amid my transformative path?
 
Robin said to be vulnerable, and I have definitely done that.  Brené Brown inspired me in her book, Daring Greatly, to speak up, even though I have a disability.
 
I have worked on my trust in God.  I admit I have sometimes had difficulty trusting people.  Perhaps, they need to study Robin Dreeke’s book, so they can inspire others to trust them.  He said it is harder to trust someone than it is to love them.
 
Please, bless my readers with the will to form trusting bonds with their connections and enjoy the success that will give them.
 
Amen.
 
If you would like to join me on this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
 
 
 

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