Day 362, Self-Encouragement
“Self-encouragement is critical because others around us do not always know exactly what encouragement we need. Our “support” group may even discourage us. Our “coach” may lead us in the wrong direction. We usually know exactly what we need to hear. When we wait to hear encouragement from others, we usually wait too long, delaying important action, keeping us from our critical next step. For instance, once you make a deliverable, deliver it. Make self-encouragement a daily thing.”
I just completed 19 minutes with the Denneroll, a yellow foam device my chiropractor gave me to put the correct curvature back in my neck.
It is 6:06 AM. I have already been up for hours. Last night, we slept on the living room floor. Our bed is covered with clothes from the closet. Today, we have a man coming over to restore the closet from water damage.
First Email Campaign
I just sent out my first email campaign. Just now, I heard it hit my BlueMail inbox. It is a very basic campaign, which I pray generates some more interest in my blog. There is more work to be done with my blog promotion, but I have started. So far, I have published 217 posts for my blog, most of them since Day One, when I started on a journey to lose 15 pounds.
I have not lost 15 pounds yet. However, I have made progress in my life and reached the first anniversary of our marriage. Our relationship is stronger than ever. Marriage strengthened our relationship considerably. We still have challenges, but there is consistent harmony between us.
Importantly, I have seen the need to be more self-compassionate. Self-compassion spreads out to compassion for others. Self-compassion is not just being lenient with yourself. It is talking to yourself in a caring, compassionate way to bring out the best possible behavior, much like an excellent teacher would talk to a struggling student.
What would be the best self-talk for me to get back on track with my weight loss goal? Fortunately, yesterday I kept a Cronometer log. Resuming that practice is important to my success. I believe I have been stopped by a sore finger. Eczema can be painful. I can be compassionate with myself about that.
“KaeLyn, you have lapsed on your Cronometer log. That was okay for a time, but not keeping track of your food intake eventually caught up with you, and you started to gain weight. You have the strength and self-control to resume that practice. Just give the resistance in your mind a little nudge, and you will be back in the saddle.
I have confidence in you, KaeLyn. You are disciplined. Remember the rewards that come from logging your food. Though the progress seems slow, you have seen results. Not only have you been losing weight, but you have also been incredibly healthy. Living life as a nutritarian, eating foods that are nutrient-dense, is working for you. Continue to be an example of what you preach.”
That gives me some self-compassion and encouragement.
I am fixing what my husband calls Manti Tomatoes. I used five fresh “on-the-vine” tomatoes stewed about 15 minutes with bacon crumbles and a little stevia. Originally, the inhabitants of Manti, a small community in Utah where my husband’s mother was raised, used sugar, but I will not go for that. Not a lot of stevia is necessary because the tomatoes are naturally sweet. They will soon be ready for breakfast. I may have some too.
After having some depression on Monday, I feel the need to give myself some encouragement. One thing I feel exultant about is getting the antique comforter cleaned. I bought seven gallons of distilled water and some distilled vinegar and washed it in the bathtub to prevent it from getting damaged by the minerals in the water. Removing the water was quite a job. After it was nearly dry, I hung it over my husband’s walker.
We have eaten the Manti tomatoes. Now, the challenge is figuring out how to log them in Cronometer. I did not use a recipe. There. I think I am close enough. This “Manti” is a place in Utah, not Turkish dumplings served with meat and tomato sauce.
Notes in Cronometer
I am feeling a tad sleepy after consuming the tomatoes. That may be because I got up so early, rather than because of what I ate. Nevertheless, I think I will put a note in Cronometer about how I feel.
I took a nap, actually more than one nap. My husband said he gets sleepy after eating Manti tomatoes also. We had four servicemen come in this morning. Also, Jacque called and wanted to get together soon.
The restoration man said there is quite a lot of water damage in our closet, so it is going to cost quite a lot to fix. Some of it has been there for a while. I could get into a self-blame game over it, but I have learned how destructive that is.
I have been trying to talk my husband out of getting potato chips as a snack, mostly because they are tempting for me too. However, he has decided that he wants them after all. I have held him off for a while, but the next order of groceries is going to have potato chips on it.
My old method of dieting, controlling the environment, is not working as well for me now that I am married. I am going to have to deal with tempting foods being around me. Fortunately, I am not tempted by the wine my husband has around, because if I was, that could be a serious problem for me. However, things like potato chips are a problem. What could I do to deal with that?
One thing that has worked has been to buy vanilla ice cream. My husband likes that, and I can pass it up, whereas a flavor like moose tracks I am much more attracted to. We have had the same container of vanilla ice cream in the freezer for some time. Heather Tucker, in her book about weight loss plateaus, wanted to blame her husband for her weight problem but was finally able to realize the problem was really her. Her husband would bring home appetizing food. At least my husband does not do that
The day has gone along fairly nicely. I got a lot done. I made a mind map of my day in my Aspirations “Little Black Book” and marked off things as I did them. It may be a week or so before we can put the clothes back in the closet. In the meantime, we will be sleeping on the living room floor. I did get it vacuumed today, which badly needed to be done. My self-encouragement program must be helping me. I also got to the store for some printer paper, and I got a prescription filled for my husband. I kept my Cronometer log and did my meditation.
The most important accomplishment was sending out my first email campaign. I want to improve on it, but I started it.
I woke up too early this morning, did a few things, then went back to bed. Now I am up again, wondering what encouragement I need for the day ahead. Maybe another pep talk is in order.
“KaeLyn, you are a bit tired this morning, but you want to do things. Your husband is very happy with you. I know you are concerned about the water damage to the clothes closet, but you have done well in getting good professionals to help you take care of the problem. Continue to work with them. Also, reviewing some information about eye health is a good idea. Make a link to it in The Journal so you will have access to it.”
“KaeLyn, you must take some time to relax. Your bipolar disorder tends to drive you on, and on, and on. The human body is not built to take continuous activity. Take some time to meditate and concentrate on your breathing and blinking. Remember to stay hydrated throughout the day.
Self-Encouragement Is Working
My self-encouragement must be working. I have kept my Cronometer log for four consecutive days, and I lost a kilogram.
Last night I put my husband in a detox unit. His hygiene was so poor he was a danger to me and himself. Hopefully, he can get some help and some insight into his situation. His son encouraged me to do something about the situation right away for his safety.
This morning the plumber is here, working on the air-conditioner again. He turned the A/C down to 55 degrees F. to test it, so it is going to be frosty in here. He went out to make some phone calls.
Drugs to Alleviate Suffering
My husband called too. He is shaking badly. I suggested he ask for a specific drug that will alleviate that. I promised I would be there by noon tomorrow.
I started on another mind map for today’s activities. I use Mind Meister to make mind maps pretty, but I outline them in my Joyful Aspirations “Little Black Book.” One page can show a pretty comprehensive mind map for a day.
Encouragement for Friday
“KaeLyn, you have finally done what you never thought you could. You have insisted that your husband get medical help, and he is getting it. You could have waited until he fell on his face again, but you did not. It is hard to be firm, but something had to change. You cannot even describe in your blog how serious the situation is.”
Feed Yourself Well
“Now, what do you need to do for yourself? Today, you have eaten organic protein powder, coconut, walnuts, and pecans; a peach; lean stew with V8, potatoes, zucchini, and onions; avocado; and a Romaine lettuce and tomato salad. You are choosing better foods and tracking everything you eat. Already, you have lost one kilo by getting back to your Cronometer log.”
Consume Friendly Bacteria
“You ate some live sauerkraut just now. Good job. You need friendly bacteria to overcome the yeast infections you could get from your recent round of antibiotics.”
“Your body will forgive you for eating too much for a time. Love your body, and give it what it needs. Your stress has been all-consuming–caring for a near invalid who demands you be his cupbearer. Forgive yourself for what you could not do for him. Admit that you have needs of your own. Relieve yourself of your recent stress.”
Do Some Kind of Meditation Daily
“You especially like Glenn Harold’s Mindfulness Meditation for Anxiety, which is on YouTube.”
Get Your Needed Medical Care
“You have not been able to go to the chiropractor this week. Now your back is killing you. Take care of it next week after the Labor Day holiday. For now, position your neck and spine with the Denneroll device and do your four exercises. Good job for doing your four exercises, even though you could not do a full count.”
Get Some More Sleep
“Your sleep schedule lately has gotten shorter and shorter. After a grueling night at the emergency room, twice in a seven-day period, you have gotten to bed late, and you feel drained. The flood in your master bedroom closet has necessitated you moving your clothes to your bed, which has necessitated using the living room floor for sleeping–not especially comfortable. Find a way to cope with this situation. It will be a while before your closet can be rebuilt. Start by using your husband’s antique comforter you have so carefully cleaned for him as a mattress and get a nap.”
Make a Self-Care Mind Map
“Make a Mind Meister mind map of what to do for your self-care, and refer to it often. Care not just for the body but also the mind and spirit. Your husband tells you that you are a wonderful wife. He may not feel that way right now, but be patient. He may say it again. He did say he loved you this morning over the phone. You have been wonderful to him.”
Show Compassion to Yourself
“KaeLyn, be wonderful to yourself as well. Show yourself the compassion that you have been showing your husband. Self-compassion is not intended to excuse just any behavior, but to give you gentle encouragement to become what you have always dreamed you could be.”
Yesterday morning I took Lyft to Englewood to see my husband. We were able to spend some time together in private, which was really nice. He said it was fun.
After returning home I spent some time on the phone and visited with some of my neighbors. They invited me to visit more often.
My mind maps in my Aspirations notebook have helped me keep my sanity. I have accomplished a great deal, even the vacuuming, which is usually very difficult for me. The condo is a little awry, but that is probably to be expected after getting flooded.
If you would like to join me on this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.