Day 338, Becoming Artistic, Aware, Connected, Genuine, Motivated, and Passionate

Day 338, Becoming Artistic, Aware, Connected, Genuine, Motivated, and Passionate

 
“Would your organization be more successful if your employees were more obedient?
Or, consider for a second: would you be more successful if your employees were more artistic, motivated, connected, aware, passionate, and genuine?
You can’t have both of course.”
 
 

Tuesday Afternoon

 
Today seems like a Comedy of Errors.  I do not have my usual touch.  Let me take a few moments for gratitude and reflection to see if I can reverse this.
 

Preparing For My Day

 
5-10 things I am grateful for:
  • our cool condo (even in the summer)
  • our delivered groceries (even though one item was missing)
  • my emotional stability (even though I nearly lost it today)
  • peaches, cherries, and blueberries in the same delivery!
 
morning comments, feelings, ideas, moods, and empowering questions:
I love and accept myself for who I am.
 
mood and energy:
 
0-100
comments
mood:
20
not up, not completely down; looking for better days ahead
energy:
75
energetic but kind of out-of-control
 
accomplishments:
 
accomplishment
reason it is important
next action(s)
1
learned how to search files in Windows in any date range and size.
Computer Whiz Me
Forget about the missing video about Dad for now.
2
made a medical mind map
Healthy Me
Update it when needed.  Put Medical in JV Life Tracker.
 

Wednesday Morning

 
Last night, I discovered from the pill containers that I had missed Monday night’s medication.  I filled the containers that night, then forgot to take my medication!  That might explain yesterday’s weird mood and energy.  I took my medication last night, so today, I think I will do better.
 
My weight went down a bit last night.  I have not been eating within my calorie budget, but I have been trying to eat less than what Cronometer says I burn.
 
 
My weight during the past four weeks has been up and down, several times.  Thankfully, now I am less than where I started.
 
Since I have been tracking completed days starting on Lisa’s Diet Takeoff Day (June 22, 2019), my weight has been up and down repeatedly.  Part of this variability may have been caused by changing thyroid medication levels.  My weight gains the first week in July could have been from stress.
 

July Calendar
 
The dark green days are the days I kept a complete Cronometer record.  The light green days I kept a partial record, and the white day (21st) I did not keep a diet diary at all.
 
 
So far, I have kept a complete diet diary every day in August, and the weight I gained in July is starting to come off.
 

Wednesday Evening

 
Today has been a frustrating day.  I did not recover from missing my medication.    I called the crisis line, which helped settle me down enough to read a book.
 
Even though I work hard to stay emotionally stable, I have my bad days.  I get discouraged that my bipolar symptoms keep reoccurring over and over again.  I do well for stretches of time, then I am awakened to the fact that I am not cured.  Today, life does not seem worth living.  However, I am still hopeful that I will have brighter days ahead.  I know things will get better.  They also will get worse again.  I do not know if that is true hope.
 

Thursday Morning

 

Weight

 
Today, I feel a lot better.  My weight went down some more and is at 54.0 kg.  That’s close to 119 pounds.  It is unlikely that I will reach 50.0 kg by September 5, 2019.  However, I can still try for that by the end of December and see how I do.  Even though I have not lost weight as fast as I originally planned, I am glad that I went on this journey.  At first, my goal was to primarily lose weight.  However, I have learned so much along the way about mental health.
 

JV Life Tracker

 
Now that I feel a bit more emotionally stable, in what direction should I set out?  Self-care, of course, is very important.  I want to put taking “evening meds” and “charging phones” on my JV Life Tracker Master Activity List.  That will remind me to do them every day.
 
I scored JV Life Tracker for yesterday.  I got 43, which is not too bad for a bad day.  I also avoided having a medical emergency.  Now I can get back to my life.
 

Linchpin

 
I finished reading Linchpin by Seth Godin the other day.  It was inspiring and in many places very quotable.  I want to become more artistic, aware, connected, genuine, and motivated, and passionate.
 
Artistic
I discovered that I can be artistic in creating mind maps.  I want to go farther though.  I am thinking of getting a copy of Serif Designer and learning how to use the program to create art–art that can accompany my blog.  Visual art is not the only type of art Seth talked about.  Art is whenever you produce something that changes another person or people.
 
Aware
Becoming aware is a bit of a challenge.  Does it involve more than watching the local and national news?  I have been watching the news more lately, but it is filled with negative material.  I understand that watching the news can bias you into thinking negative events are more likely than they actually are.  It may stoke the fires of depression and thinking that life is not worth living.
 
What is the best way to get an unbiased awareness of things?  Facebook updates you on your “friends.”  However, it is easy to get anxious and depressed from Facebook because comparing what your friends are showcasing to your own life can leave you feeling deprived, inferior–name your adjective.  Walking the halls of my building keeps me in touch with my neighbors.  That is a tiny circle of awareness, but it is local and helps me to keep the commandment “love thy neighbour.”  Another awareness is community awareness.  Our community sends out several publications regularly, updating us on community news and events.  That may be important to be aware of.
 
Maybe a little news, a little Facebook, a little community news, and mostly interacting with neighbors is the way to go.  I will search for the right balance.  Creating a personal learning network (PLN) can bring rewards and awareness.  I can connect with people locally and online who have knowledge and skills I desire.  I can explore, search, follow, tune, feed, engage, inquire, and respond to interact with people in my personal learning network for greater awareness.
 
Connected
Beyond social media and email, beyond the bonds of matrimony, beyond family ties, beyond the power of prayer connecting me to God, beyond the power of the Internet connecting me to the world, beyond my connection to my personal learning network, beyond my network of friends, beyond networks from organizations I have belonged to, beyond my connection with the authors whose works I peruse, beyond my fellowship with other Christians, beyond my ties to corporations who serve me, I am sure there are networks of connection yet to explore.  I am more connected than I realized.
 
Motivated
What is the key to motivation?  That is a huge question because my medications have always seemed to decrease motivation.  However, I learned from this week’s experience that if I am not current with my medication, that can rob me of motivation completely, sending me into a swirl.  Now that my medication level is closer to normal, I feel my motivation returning.
 
There are at least three kinds of motivation:  1) motivation to handle things as they arise, especially the urgent, 2) motivation to go out and do new things and 3) motivation to stick with long-term goals already in progress.  Hopefully, the urgent does not require all our time, though it may during times of stress.  It is great to do new things.  However, when doing so robs you of your long-term goals, that can be a problem.
 
Finding new things that support your long-term goals is probably an okay strategy.  Our long-term goals may be stuck, and we may want to abandon them by doing something new instead.  Instead of abandoning ship, however, there is the time to work on overcoming obstacles and converting them into opportunities.  With careful calculation, it can sometimes be determined that an old goal is worth abandoning.  However, this is better not done on a whim.  When I feel the motivation to get back to my long-term goals, I know I have recovered from the temporary insanity caused by messing up with my medication.
 
Genuine
What does it mean to be genuine?  I think first and foremost it is sincerely being your unique self and loving yourself.  When we seek to always do things just to please others, we can become fake.  It means being able to say no sometimes.  It means that when you say yes, you really mean yes.  I think it means having an awareness of your values and living up to them or at least striving to.  It means being vulnerably honest with yourself with an awareness of your faults but not letting your self-esteem be undermined by them.  It means your offer of friendship is from the heart rather than out of obligation or a desire to get something for it.
 
Passionate
Tony Robbins attributes his success to his passion.  As for myself, I am passionate about nutrition.  Gradually, I have become passionate about means to attain mental health.  I am passionate about my blog.  I could share that passion more.  Perhaps I could develop even more passion, not less, and I would go further.
 

Thursday Evening

 
I spent the afternoon visiting with Jacque at the retirement complex we used to live in.  She even noticed that I had lost some weight.  I am so glad I have kept that connection.  Briefly, I helped her with her computer.  I drove home and then to the chiropractor’s and got a chiropractic adjustment.  Now that I am home again, I feel a bit weary.  I watched the news for a while, then decided to continue with my blog.
 
I kept my TCC P&L for PC (Timely, Consistent, Clear Planning and Logging for Productive Creativity), which gives me a greater awareness of my day as a whole.  Keeping this log is also my personal requirement for keeping my subscription to Mind Meister.
 
TCC P&L for PC
Timely, Consistent, Clear Planning and Logging for Productive Creativity
Time
Plans
Actual
Up to 8
 
Took thyroid and SAMe
Changed time on chiropractic appointment
Ate cherries
Emptied the DW
Made coffee for my husband
8-9
Blog
Morning Routine
Make bed
Check washer/dryer for old laundry
Mind maps (artistry)
 
Blog (artistry)
Loaded the DW and turned it on
Breakfast
Email (connection)
Watched a video of Dad when he was in the care center and showed it to my husband (connection)
9-10
Call Jacque about my package
Breakfast
Called Jacque about my package (connection)
Made omelet for my husband (passion)
10-11
Delivery
Handle mail
Aspirations (motivated)
Delivery
Breakfast
11-12
Blog
Got dressed (artistry)
Drove to Jacque’s (motivated)
Put the package in jeep
12-1
Lunch – Sandwich for my husband?
Lunch with Jacque (connection)
Met and visited with many of her friends (connection)
1-2
Get Dressed
Go to Jacque’s place
Helped Jacque with her computer
Visited with Jacque
2-3
Blog
Get ready for my chiropractic appointment
Drove home
Visited with husband (connection)
Lay down
Went to chiropractic
3-4
Chiropractic appointment
Chiropractic
Head weights
Caught up Cronometer (passion)
Checked laundry – emptied lint trap
4-5
Walk
Birthday message for cousin (connection)
Checked notifications in Facebook (awareness)
Got husband to rub head (connection)
Lay down
Dinner
5-6
Facebook
Email
Birthday message to cousin
Watched news (awareness)
Blog (artistry)
Watch video from Mom (connection and awareness)
Made bed
6-7
Dinner – Amy’s & Marie’s
Make bed
Blog (artistry)
7-8
Blog
Time with husband (connection)
8-9
Blog
Blog (artistry)
Sonicare
Finished Cronometer for the day (passion)
Charged phones
9-12
Evening meds
Electric toothbrush
Charge phones
Go to bed before 10 PM
 
 
 

Prayer

 
 
 
Evening Prayer
 
Dear Lord,
 
Yesterday, I sank into despair, but today, it is as if that has been all washed away.  I can keep going.  There is no need to give up.
 
I want to become more artistic, aware, connected, genuine, motivated, and passionate.  Maybe that is already happening.  Can I detect those qualities in myself?
 
Jacque wants me to read Mark, then Acts, then James in the Bible.  I must admit I have not followed her reading recommendation yet.  Certainly, the wisdom of your day can be applied now.
 
I recall the New Testament story of Lydia, a seller of purple, a businesswoman of the city of Thyatira.  She wanted to serve the people of God by providing hospitality.  She was probably artistic, aware, connected, genuine, motivated, and passionate.  We know very little about her,
but what is mentioned in the Bible provides a motivating story.
Lord, what am I becoming?  Do you like it?
 
Today, my husband returned to his drinking.  I have no control.  There was nothing I could do to prevent it.  He says he is much more relaxed.  If I personalize this and believe I had control when I did not, it will sink me.  Thankfully, I have learned from Dr. David Burns’ cognitive distortions because I would be feeling pretty bad by now if I were blaming myself.
 
Instead, I can go on and make the best of my situation.  If he vomits repeatedly again, he may get sick once again of drinking.  I do not know the future.  I will not do fortune-telling either.
 
Lord, bless my readers with the ability to surmount their difficulties.  I pray my example of surmounting my own difficulties provides some inspiration.  Please give us artistry, awareness, connection, motivation genuineness, and passion.
 
Amen.
 
If you would like to join me on this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
 
 
KaeLyn Morrill
 

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