Day 298, Lowering Your Standards
“What others think about us is really not that important.
What we think about ourselves means everything.”
Evening
Silent Assumptions
The day is winding down. I am at peace. I am learning so much from Dr. David Burns’ book Feeling Good. He has asked us to drill down to our silent assumptions that can cause us depression, guilt, or other bad feelings. I am being very vulnerable to reveal the assumption that causes me the most trouble. I believed, perhaps even still believe, that it is necessary to be as perfect as possible, not only in one or two things, but in every major area of my life in order to obtain my parents’ approval or my own approval.
Unrealistic Standards
What a huge burden to put on myself! My standards were unrealistic. I believe my quest for perfection has contributed to intermittent depression, and has actually made me less able to obtain what I have sought. So what is the solution? Could it be lowering my standards? Being happy with lower standards of performance? Not asking so much of myself?
Typically when I run into a roadblock in my life, I react to it by raising rather than lowering my standards. However, then I am faced with continual frustration when I do not meet my own requirements.
Recently, I set up a Progress record for Cronometer with a target range, rather than a single point.
Goal:
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Complete Cronometer Record
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Instructions:
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Points:
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60-90%
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Filter:
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use Cronometer Fluoride to determine percentage
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Start Date:
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Saturday, June 22, 2019
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End Date:
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Friday, July 5, 2019
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Trigger Event:
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Whenever I Eat
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Intrinsic Rewards:
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Extrinsic Rewards:
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Progress Notes:
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Accomplished:
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Why do I even want to do this? Cronometer has a huge number of benefits, but most importantly, I need it as I cannot control my food intake without some help. My antipsychotic medicine and lithium both cause weight gain through increasing the appetite and lowering the basal metabolism.
Weight
Today, I got my weight down to the lowest this year: 53.65 kg or 118.3 pounds. This is almost surprising as I had decided to stop trying to get my weight down to a certain level, especially within a certain period of time. With the help of Cronometer though, I can control many other nutritional factors that affect my health.
Lowering My Standards
So what does my Cronometer goal have to do with lowering my standards?
First, notice the target point level, 60-90%. It is a range rather than being a single point. For my first week into this, I am at 100%. However, realistically I will not likely remain at 100% for an entire year. 60% is still a rather high requirement, so I may consider lowering it. I think I will change it to 50%.
Goal:
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Complete Cronometer Record
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Instructions:
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Points:
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50-90%
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Filter:
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use Cronometer Fluoride to determine percentage
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Start Date:
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Saturday, June 22, 2019
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End Date:
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Friday, July 5, 2019
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Trigger Event:
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Whenever I Eat
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Intrinsic Rewards:
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Extrinsic Rewards:
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Progress Notes:
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Accomplished:
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Lowered My Standards
There. I just lowered one of my standards. However, I may actually score higher than I would have otherwise, now that the pressure is down. More importantly, I am not going to pressure myself to do a lot of extra things that will keep me from working on Cronometer.
There are areas of my life that are somewhat neglected. Guess what? That is okay. I do not need to stress over what I am not. For instance, I am not an avid Facebook fan. I do it occasionally but not for hours per day. You know what? That is perfectly okay.
Focus
What I want to do is focus on my Big Four. They are: my blog, Cronometer, JV Life Tracker, and meditation. I had these activities going pretty well, and then I tried to do too many things. We may think we can get a finger in every pie, but we really can not.
Each of us is quite powerful. We can do anything. However, we cannot do everything. It really is okay to not be expert in everything. That is what we need other people for.
What we think of ourselves makes all the difference. If we dwell on what we cannot do, we can get depressed. If we focus on the things we can do, we have a life.
Prayer
EVENING Prayer
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If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
KaeLyn Morrill