Day 281, When Is The Time for Healing?

Day 281, When Is The Time for Healing?

 

Monday Morning

 

Preparing For My Day

 
5-10 things i am grateful for:
  • my readers
  • my knowledge
  • my time to write
  • my knowledge of cognitive distortions, with which I can break the grip of depression and donothingism and transform my life
 
mood and energy:
 
0-100
comments
mood:
75
physically I do not feel well, but my mood is okay
energy:
75
my blood pressure was a little high this morning, maybe from lack of sleep.
 
accomplishments:
 
accomplishment
reason it is important
next action(s)
1
posted 3 blog entries so far in June; posted 9 entries in May.
Popular blog goal
Keep writing.
2
memorized cognitive distortions, which can cause depression and donothingism.
Hope to prevent those 2 conditions.
Relentlessly root out cognitive distortions.
3
made a new The Journal template for planning my day, based on Dr. Burns’ Feeling Good.
Leaders are readers, probably planners also.
Do not feel like you should use the template  Just use it as it is helpful.
4
Created an evening routine in Goalscape and used it last night.
Daily routines can lead to success.
Do not feel like you should follow the routine. Just use it as it is helpful.
5
Let go of my goal to lose a certain number of pounds.
Bone health
Continue to use Cronometer, and continue this journey.  It may lead to good things.
 
Today, I am suffering a lot of pain.  I have a chiropractic appointment.  Since Thursday when I went there for the first time, I have been hurting more.
 

Avoiding All-or-Nothing Thinking About Life

 
However, now is no time to fortune tell my life and predict when I will be in the grave.  As I learned from twelve-step groups, it is important to live each day one at a time.  It seems that I have been all-or-nothing when it comes to life.  I either wanted to live forever or be dead right now.  Now is the time to think in shades of gray or perhaps even color, and live life one day at a time, allowing my life to end naturally, accepting that it will end at some point.  I have been in a delusion for many years that I would live forever.  Whether this delusion is common with bipolar disorder, I do not know.  It seems to be common with young people.
 
This past weekend, I have especially grappled with my mortality.  In addition, starting the last few years, it was hard for me to accept that my father was dying.  However, some time before he died, I accepted that he would be leaving us.
 
In 2013, I had a bout of diverticulitis, but after a brief stay in the hospital, where the surgeon decided I did not need surgery, everything turned out fine.  I do admit to an occasional pain in the area of my missing appendix, but in six years, it has not erupted like it did before.  I expected to get better, and I did.  It could be that I experienced healing with the power of my mind.  Will I now?
 

Healing the Spine

 
I have been following the work of Dr. Joe Dispenza, a chiropractor, who healed his severely damaged vertebrae after a bike accident, when he was hit by a vehicle and flung far into the air.  His alternative was to get his spine fused, which probably would have made him as straight as a rod, confined to a wheelchair for life.  Instead, through the power of his mind, he healed himself, and never got the surgery.  I have read his book, Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself and most of Becoming Supernatural.
 
Like Dr. Dispenza, I do not want to have surgery on my back.  I have not been offered surgery so far, thank goodness.  However, I want to invoke the power of healing and do what I can to recover from my current condition.
 

Healing Works Better When Stress Is Low

 
Dr. Bernie Siegel has done extensive research on which patients recover from cancer and which do not.  Those who recovered expected to recover.  A lot of it was the power of belief.  I believe our consciousness is able to give healing commands to our physical bodies, probably through the process of visualization.  I do not know specifically how to invoke the healing response for me, but I believe that peace, calm, and tranquility are needed.  I do not think it can be done when under stress.  Now is the time to reduce the stress in my life even further.  One writer who writes extensively on reducing stress for healing is Christiane Northrup.  I have read her Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom; Mother-Daughter Wisdom; and The Wisdom of Menopause.
 
Last year, I went through a period of significant stress in connection with my husband’s falls, emergency room visits, hospitalization, and a month in the rehab center.  Two things were the most stressful for me:   driving and eating at the rehab center.  Finances could have stressed me as well, but thankfully my husband had good insurance, and we had some reserves.  However, when the bills came trickling in long after the events, I started getting stressed over them.
 
So what is the most healing situation for me now?  I want to see what my options are.  Getting to the chiropractor’s office could be a stress too.  It is within walking distance, but not a really comfortable walking distance on a hot day.
 

Monday Afternoon

 

Good News

 
It looks like the chiropractor, Dr. Rob Anderson, can help me.   He cannot fix everything, but he can make a big difference and will probably make me feel a lot better.  I signed up for his services and paid for the first 90 days, relieved that there is something that can be done.  Maybe I will live into my 80’s after all.
 
Then I got some rest.  Even though I am still hurting, the magic analgesic of hope is lifting me up.  I got some blueberries out of the freezer, ate them, and transferred some money into checking to pay for my first 90 days of chiropractic.
 
Method Acting
 
As part of my recovery from depression, I want to use method acting, acting the part of someone with positive emotions.
 
This morning, I thought of women, fictional, living, and dead, whom I might act the part of using method acting that I explained in an earlier blog entry.  I asked my husband whom I should choose.  Of course, he said, I should act the part of myself.  Instead, I chose a woman who is not an actress but has been in a number of videos and has even given a TED talk.  I admire her beauty, education, personality, and writing.  She was born August 27, 1974, a few years after I was.  Like me she has no children.  Her name is Libby Weaver, Ph.D. I decided to act as if I am she, maybe not all the time, but when I want to express a certain mood.  If I want to write a book, I can act like her writing a book.  If I practice, maybe I can even mimic her New Zealand accent.
 
So if I were Libby, what emotions would I express?  Bubbliness?  Joy?  Helpfulness?  Erudition?  Inspiration?  She says, “My mission is to educate and inspire, enhancing people’s health and happiness, igniting a ripple effect that transforms the world.”
 
What I want to do is blend the best of myself and Libby into a transformed whole and wholesome me.  How can I do that?  I am looking at a smile on her face.  It would not be advantageous to compare myself to her and find myself wanting.  She does have the advantage of being younger than I am.  
 
Libby could serve as a mentor.  She does not know me, but I can observe her work.  Of course, I see the public Libby and everything about me, subluxations and all.  I know the mis-alignment of my spine, its imperfections.  I saw my x-rays today–showing more of myself than I want to know.  One of my readers said yesterday, “My support is nothing to be thankful for.  Your education and transparency is.  So thank you.”  I had not thought to put that word to my style:  transparency.  Transparent like an x-ray?  I suppose that is a good thing.
 

Time Planning Template

 
I started a new way of planning my time today with the following template:
 
Time
Plans
Actual
Up to 8
   
8-9
   
9-10
   
10-11
   
11-12
   
12-1
   
1-2
   
2-3
   
3-4
   
4-5
   
5-6
   
6-7
   
7-8
   
8-9
   
9-12
   
 
In The Journal, each cell in the table is expandable, so I can add as much detail as I would like for each hour.  A new template comes up every day.  I am just experimenting with this today.  Long ago, I used a similar system on paper.  However, The Journal makes it easy to create and use a template.
 
This idea came from Dr. David Burn’s Feeling Good in the chapter about donothingism.  I typically have had a very hard time scheduling activities.  I can do it for a time during which I get very good results, and then I cannot sustain the practice.  Dr. Burns says this system only needs to be used for short periods of time.  It is intended to get you going again.  I want to get going without getting stressed over it.
 

Tuesday Afternoon

 

Time Management

 
Since Sunday night, I started to manage my time better by scheduling my activities.  I am not forcing myself to follow my plans exactly, not wanting to de-motivate myself with should statements.  This exercise is a way of increasing my productivity by thinking ahead a little.
 

Hope

 
I have felt so much better since my chiropractor visit yesterday.  Hope itself is giving me a lift.  Hope is very healing.  I also watched part of KickSugarSummit 2019.  I have enjoyed sharing the info with my husband, even though nutrition is not his area of interest.
 

Healing Through Removing Inflammatory Foods

 
After watching an interview with Dr. David Diamond, I realize that I need to get myself off of potato chips.  I checked Cronometer for the past few months, and they account for 4% of my calories.  Potato chips have the wrong kind of fat, and they are quickly converted to sugar in the blood.  My husband likes them, so we always have bags of them in the condo.  I need to eat something else.
 
Even though cheese does not agree with me that well, it is probably a better choice than potato chips.  At least I will eat less of it.  A study with children showed that they consumed fewer calories in cheese than potato chips.  They did even better if they consumed cheese with vegetables, so I can try that too.  So that is my next strategy.  Potato chips are highly palatable foods, which makes them a challenge.  Dr. Diamond said he had a hard time weaning himself off of fried chicken.  Another possible choice is nuts.
 

Learning More About Sugar

 
Last night, I watched the interview with pediatrician Dr. Robert Lustig.  Dr. Lustig’s video Sugar:  The Bitter Truth went viral and launched him into a second career to change public policy.  I just downloaded his book, Fat Chance:  Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease.  Wow!  I have battled sugar personally all my life.  I have had my victories and defeats.  Part of my story is in my ebook, Joyful Vibrance:  Transform Your Body Image, Energy, and Mood!, which you are free to read.
 
So far I am on page 15 of Dr. Lustig’s book.  It is bold.  Like me, he does not lay the blame for obesity on any one person.  He especially believes children are not to blame for being obese.
 
The battle against sugar, another inflammatory food, has to be relentless.  Speaking of another battle, the battle against cognitive distortions is underway.  I started a category in The Journal with the following template:
 
1.
All-or-nothing thinking
 
2.
Overgeneralization
 
3.
Mental filter
 
4.
Discounting the positive
 
5.
Jumping to conclusions
a.  Mind reading
b.  Fortune telling
 
6.
Magnification
 
7.
Emotional reasoning
 
8.
Should statements
 
9.
Labeling or mis-labeling
 
10.
Personalization or blame
 
 
In the right hand column, I fill in recent thoughts that are distorted.  I have only started this exercise today.  However, I am hopeful that it is going to help me.
 

Pleasure or Happiness?

 
Dr. Robert Lustig mentioned that sugar triggers the reward center of the brain, giving us pleasure.  However, at the same time, it reduces serotonin, causing depression.  He said that in pursuing pleasure, we are sacrificing happiness.
 
Years ago, I noticed that sugar consumption often triggers a depression.  I did not understand its effects on neurotransmitters at that time.  It was just something I observed.
 
When I go to family or church gatherings where there is a lot of sugar consumption, I sometimes cave in and indulge.  However, I pay for it later with depression.  For that reason, I associate social gatherings with the pain of depression and do not like to go.  If I was strong enough to not indulge, that would be wonderful.  Often I am.  However, sometimes I give in.  That creates a problem not only at the time, but I will likely get hooked on sugar again and have to struggle with it for a while before I can get off of it again.
 

Is Sugar Anyone’s Fault?

 
If it sounds like I am trying to blame someone else, perhaps I am.  Sugar is society’s problem as well as a personal one.  I do what I can to take personal responsibility, but sugar is very hard to fight in today’s social environment.  Just last year at the retirement complex, I was invited to an elaborate Sunday brunch buffet.  Additionally, I was invited to go through the dessert line with some friendly people I had just met.  I ate a number of tempting sweets.  That event was the beginning of weeks of weight gain that I still have not totally reversed.  I did not want to offend the senior citizens who invited me by refusing to eat anything, so what was I to do?
 
Dr. Lustig is bravely working to change public policy in a way that will protect people, especially children, from sugar.  He recognizes that the only protection we have from sugar currently is to control our personal environment.  However, we cannot all stay isolated all the time.  He realizes the mammoth forces against his cause, but he has seen so much suffering, especially among innocent children, that he is committed to it.  On the interview I watched last night, Dr. Lustig said that he is now just seven years into his cause, but already there are 28 soda taxes worldwide that would not exist except for his actions with solid science at his fingertips–science he was involved in personally.
 
Why a soda tax?  More sugar is consumed in soda than any other food.  The effects of sugar are costly to society in terms of medical costs, lost time from work, early death, etc.  That cost is born by all taxpayers.  If soda is taxed, the money collected could help pay for the costs.  Also, it would discourage the use of soda because it would cost more, an effect that would also be benefical for society.
 
Wednesday Morning
 

Prayer

 
 
 
Morning Prayer
 
Dear Lord,
 
Today is my time for healing.  I plan to manage my time in a non-stressful way.  Dr. Burns has a suggested template I can use in The Journal.  Let me see if it works for me.
 
Healing for my back and neck are already underway.  I feel much better after only ONE adjustment.
 
While I am working on healing my back, I also want to overcome my inflammatory potato chip habit.  I will also enjoy Dr. Lustig’s book Fat Chance.
 
I am also going to regularly review my writing and thinking for cognitive distortions.  This morning I reviewed yesterday’s journal entry and found all ten distortions.  I was trying to tell myself I could no longer follow one of my dreams, something with which I have already made significant
progress, when in fact, the reasons I gave why not were cognitive distortions!
 
Lord, my friend Jacque called just now.  We are getting together next week.  I am so excited to see her again.
 
My husband is healing well enough today to eat a spinach, green onion, mushroom, tomato, and cheese omelette that I made the two of us for breakfast.
 
Now that I am getting more apt at rooting out cognitive distortions, a greater sense of happiness is flowing through me.  I am excited about life.
 
Lord, please bless my readers with the tools needed to experience happiness.  Fleeting pleasure sometimes needs to be sacrificed.  What we really want is joy, vibrant joy.  Help us to manifest it.
 
Amen.
 
If you would like to join me in this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
KaeLyn Morrill
 
 

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