Day 186, Self-Acceptance and Losing Weight

Day 186, Self-Acceptance and Losing Weight




This morning I weighed 55.45 kg, down from 55.65 kg yesterday.  I have lost over three pounds in the last twelve days since I began staying within my calorie budget in Cronometer and walking about four miles a day.
I think staying in my calorie budget and walking four miles daily is the key to reaching my goal weight, which I now think I can do by about September 5, 2019, which will be one year from when I started this journey.  Based on data in Cronometer, I calculate that I can lose about one kilogram a month, for a weight of 50 kg, or as my science teacher would insist, a mass of 50 kg.

Success Mechanism

It has taken me until recently to figure out what I need to do to stay on course.  Using the Success Mechanism steps, I put an end result firmly in my mind.  (Having a picture of myself at my ideal weight makes it easier for me to visualize it.)  I have already gone through a great deal of trial and error in this journey.  I will forget my mistakes and visualize a straight aim.  Then I will make a course correction and go for it.

My Obstacle to Losing Weight

The biggest obstacle I have to overcome is that when I get hungry, my TMJ starts to hurt intrusively.  However, if I just relax without eating, it gets better throughout the evening, and it always feels better by morning after a good night of sleep.  I have been able to get through my TMJ pain for several days now, and I think I can continue.  One possibility is to take some Tylenol for the pain.  I have not tried that yet, but a website suggested that possibility.

DelectaBalance Diet – Using Balance for Losing Weight

Let me work on the DelectaBalance Diet I introduced yesterday.  If you are trying to reduce, setting yourself up with a calorie budget is very important.  This is the first balance with which to concern yourself.  Using Cronometer can be very helpful.  It will calculate a calorie budget for you based on your height, weight, gender, age, and how fast you want to lose weight.  You will need to follow it for a while to see if you entered all the data accurately when setting up Cronometer.  You may have to adjust things.
Mistakes and Corrections
I made the mistake of thinking I could set Cronometer to maintain my weight and I would still lose.  I could, but I did not lose weight over time.  I changed the settings for half a pound a week of weight loss.  Then I still thought I could go over my budget by 200 calories or so.  I discovered the budget was more accurate than I thought, so now I do my best to stay in it exactly.  Even though the difficulty is greater, I am now making progress.  I also started recording my walking because that is one way to get more calories in my budget. Cronometer does a good job of giving you no more calories for exercise than will work.


Whether things will work the same way for you, I do not know, but you will need to be faithful in following a plan and then evaluating how that plan is working for you, making adjustments as needed.  Losing weight is more challenging than many people realize.  Losing the first five pounds or so is not that difficult, but getting beyond that and keeping it off takes a little more grit.  It is still possible to do, so I do not want to discourage you.  You just need to learn how to use some effective tools.  I do not believe I could do it without using a diet diary.  I recommend anyone serious about losing weight to keep one.
Trusting The Appetite to Help Lose Weight Does Not Work
Much as I would like to just be able to just trust my appetite to get me to my ideal weight, my appetite always wants me to eat more than what is required to reach that goal.  Part of that is because the body fights to keep the status quo, so it will resist change.  Also, the human appetite has faced starvation in past generations and has learned to overcompensate for that.  It does do a good job of keeping us from dying, so it is something we need to respect.  Getting information to guide us from a diet diary helps us override what our body would do naturally.
My father in his last days was not able to swallow easily.  He may have had a normal appetite, but because of his swallowing difficulty, he grew thinner and thinner until he eventually lost weight to less than 100 pounds.  Whether or not he died from starvation, I do not know for sure, but I think that could be a possibility.
Our appetite usually guards us from starvation, but it is possible to override it.  So when you diet, respect your appetite.  It is there to protect you.

Preparing For My Day

5-10 things i am grateful for:
  • my weight loss down to 55.45 kg.
  • my understanding that I need to stay within my calorie budget in order to reduce my weight.
  • JV Life Tracker, an effective tool to help keep me in my calorie budget.
  • my understanding that I need to walk about four miles a day and record my exercise in Cronometer.
  • Cronometer, an effective tool to help me reach my ideal weight as it shows my calorie budget.
  • my target date of September 5, 2019 for achieving my ideal weight.
morning comments, feelings, ideas, moods, and empowering questions:
I am happy with the way that I am!  Even at 55.45 kg!
mood and energy:
I am happy with the way that I am!
I have enough energy to do what I must!
reason it is important
next action(s)
Lost 1.6 kg since February 26th.
Progress towards New Years resolution
Stay in calorie budget and walk about four miles daily.
It can promote happiness as well as weight loss.
Develop it to be as wonderful as it sounds!
Discovered the DelectaBalance Diet can educe 9 of 12 proven happiness-promoting activities.
Happiness and joy are top values.
Make it all happen and be happy!
Earned 5 Calorie Budget Points in JV Life Tracker for 8 days, 4 points for 9 days, and 3 points for 10 days, all in the past 10 days.
This appears to be the path to weight loss.
Keep earning Calorie Budget Points in JV Life Tracker.



My Progress and Goals

A look at my blog stats showed me that visitors are spending time on my blog.  I am encouraged.   My goals are to increase visitation and provide greater and greater value for my readers.
It looks like I am going to score well in my Cronometer game today.  The game is getting more and more enjoyable and somewhat easier to play.  I took my energy supplement cocktail:
Energy Supplement Cocktail
1 pill each of astaxanthin, zeaxanthin, and lutein for the eyes
100 mg ubiquinol, the reduced form of co-enzyme Q10
3 pills of joint supplement of glucosamine chondroitin with MSM
1/2 pill of Silica Complex of calcium/magnesium, zinc/boron/silicon, which strengthens the hair, nails, and bones
20 mg of PQQ to build new mitochondria to recover fully from the CFS I had for so many years
Jarrow’s B-Right B complex and 25 mg extra P5P (35 mg total P5P)
Acetyl l-carnitine
To prevent flushing from the niacin in B-Right, I took 14 grams of Balance of Nature Fiber ‘n Spice with some water.  I also loaded a week’s worth of the above supplements into my pill containers.
Let me revisit some of the work I have done recently on self-acceptance.  You may have noticed that I am still using the affirmation, “I am happy with the way that I am!”

What does Self-Acceptance Have to do With Losing Weight?

Self-acceptance actually has a lot to do with losing weight.  People that fail to accept themselves tend to eat more to spite themselves.  If they fall off the wagon with their diets, their self-loathing causes them to continue in their ruts.
They likely will not take the time to savor food, feeling they do not deserve that, making it unlikely that they are psychologically satisfied with the eating process itself.  This makes them want more and more, but complete satisfaction never comes.
They may give up dieting altogether, fearing that they are not deserving of losing weight or that they are not capable of it.  Outwardly, they may just say, “Diets don’t work.”  People who struggle with self-acceptance may say, “I accept my weight.”  They do not realize that they are not their excess weight.  They can accept themselves without having to accept their excess weight.
It takes a certain amount of self-acceptance to say, “I am okay, even though I have made a mistake,” and correct course without beating oneself up.  Without self-acceptance, you may find yourself rewarding yourself with sugar.  If you fail to accept yourself, you may accept offers of sugar from others, hoping those people will accept you in return.  If you already feel secure in your own acceptance, you can turn down offers of food you do not need politely, without the fear of losing anyone’s acceptance because you are secure in your own.
I have been on the low self-acceptance treadmill myself.  Even during the past seven months while on this journey, I experienced some low self-acceptance.  For quite a while, I did not fully accept my decision to come to Colorado.  My husband and I had had an on-and-off relationship for almost thirteen years.  I questioned my motives and did not find them pure enough to satisfy my unrelenting standards.  Recently, I stopped the self-flagellation and decided that I am A okay.  I am happy with the way that I am!  I fell more deeply in love with my husband as well.

Self-Acceptance and Self-Worth

The path to self-acceptance goes on and on.  There are things that can set us back.  An illness can set us back as we may let some of our most important projects slide.  A serious depression can cause us to gain weight.  However, if we pin our self-acceptance on how well we perform, we have doomed ourselves.  Self-acceptance must be based on inherent, infinite worth.  We can layer our sense of self-worth by having confidence in our abilities, those we have mastered and even those we have the potential to master.  However, that kind of confidence is fragile, so under it all, we must hold to our inherent worth.

From What Can We Safely Derive Our Sense of Self-Worth?

From what can we safely derive our sense of self-worth?  One thing we have from birth to death is our humanity.  Even if we lose a number of our body parts, we are still human.  We can place a value on ourselves for being human.  As we learn to love others and ourselves, we see the infinite value of being human.
If we have studied the accomplishments of great artists, breeders, composers, explorers, inventors, parents, philanthropists, producers, scientists, writers, etc., we see the value of what humans have achieved.  We may not be able to do anything quite as noteworthy right now ourselves, but we can take ownership of these accomplishments as we are kin to a legacy of talent that is part of our heritage and worth.  Even better, as we contribute to this vast pool of human achievement, those accomplishments can often be preserved.  Appreciating our human heritage and contributing to it can safely preserve our sense of self-worth.

Overcoming Failings

Self-acceptance is acknowledging the worth we already have.  I do not believe it means forcing others to accept us.  We do not even need to accept failings in ourselves, not as being permanent anyway.  Importantly, we still accept ourselves but not as simply being the sum total of our mistakes or all of our actions.  We understand that by using the Success Mechanism steps, we can target goals of overcoming our failings one-by-one, perhaps several of them at a time.  This success mechanism process is available to every human, and I believe its potential in our lives is part of our worth as humans.

Eternal Potential

I feel my capacity to achieve is much greater now that I understand the Success Mechanism.  That gives me a sense of self-worth in my humanity, and the potential is not even fully realized yet.  It does not have to be fully realized in my actions, yet.  My belief is that death is not the end of my soul or my ability to act.  I have eternal potential to act, think, and do, and that adds to my self-worth.  That potential cannot be taken from me even if I become totally disabled.  However to claim that, it is important to believe in having an immortal soul.


So if my failings do not mar my self-acceptance, what is the next step?  It is to grow my capacity through action that includes mistakes because mistakes are necessary to make the Success Mechanism operate.  They are part of the program.  Without mistakes, we could not make course corrections and hone in even more accurately towards our target.  I have made mistakes in my weight loss efforts so far, but that is perfectly fine because I am learning from them and correcting course.  If I get bent out of shape because of my mistakes and let that affect my self-acceptance, I would surely lose sight of my target and not get there.


A related topic is self-image.  I went through a remodelling of my self-image recently that is only partially complete.  With the help of my husband, I determined that I was gorgeous, peaceful, efficient, tenacious, and careful.  Self-image is the set of information we carry around about ourselves.  The nice thing is that this set of information can be changed.  Many times we hold an inaccurate picture of ourselves or an outdated one, so updating our concept of ourselves is merely correcting it.
Why is self-image important?  Self-image determines what we can and cannot do.  If we do not think we are the sort of person to do a certain thing, we can not do them.  We may have a goal that depends on doing certain activities, but if those activities are outside of our self-image, we will not do them or reach the goal.  For centuries, women were barred from doing many things because women were not supposed to do those things.  Then one woman would do something.  Then more.  Then it became commonplace for women to do it.  Now almost everything men do women do also.  Some activities may still be considered unfeminine, but that is less of a barrier.

If We Think We Can, We Can

What about the things we tell ourselves we cannot do that perhaps we want to do?  If we only realized the reason we cannot do those things is because we told ourselves we could not!  What if we change our minds and decide we were wrong?  What if we decided we can do those things?  Then we can.  I do not know exactly all the steps to make a reversal like this, but it is not necessary to know all the steps.  I think we must start by feeding our Success Mechanism with a new goal and then go through all the obstacles to getting there.  Sometimes the obstacles are huge.  Is surmounting them worth the effort?  For some people it is.




Evening Prayer
Dear Lord,
Losing 15 pounds of weight is still what I want to do.  It is still my target.  I believe I can do it.  I have 12 1/4 pounds yet to go.
Lord, today I have begun a journey on Facebook.  I finally got the confidence to share my blog.  Help me to share it more widely.
Lord, help me to stay within my calorie budget.  Doing so is a bit challenging but possible.  Losing one kilo a month is slow, but that is my targeted rate of weight loss, which I believe will preserve my health and mental health through the process.
Lord, bless my husband.  He is doing better.  He always needs my support.  Help me to be a good wife to him.  Help me to love him more and more.
I believe, Lord, that I have reached self-acceptance, not so that I can stop growing, but so that I can grow more.
I also love the Success Mechanism steps from page 26 of Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz.  I try to help others understand that so much is within their reach.  It does not require a doctorate to use the steps, but the steps can be used to obtain a doctorate, if one wishes to make that their goal.
Lord, You know that I have always applied myself diligently towards learning how to learn.  Help me to parlay that learning towards my goals.  Help me to select goals that will be of use to others and myself.
Bless my readers to make an empowering choice of goals.  Help them to use their human talents to bless themselves and others.  Give them satisfying success.  Help them to define what success means to them in an empowering way.
Thank you, Lord, for Your ever watchful care over me.  Empower me.  I will always show my gratitude to You.  You are my constant Friend and Savior.

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