Day 17, In Pursuit of a Better Mood

 
 
“If you want happiness for an hour—take a nap. If you want happiness for a day—go fishing. If you want happiness for a year—inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime—help someone else.”
 
~Chinese Proverb.
 

Morning

 
 
My husband loved his birthday yesterday, but my mood took a dive before the end of the day.  I regained some weight this morning.  How can I get back on track?  I will start by fasting until 5:00 PM.   That may be an overreaction to yesterday, but it might work.  However, second thought, a green drink may be more healing than fasting.  I am short on spinach and kale, but I have some salad greens.  Let me have those for breakfast.
 
I got my Vitamix ready.
 

Struggling With My Mood

Yesterday morning my mood was high.  Now I am struggling.   What a difference a day can make!  I am grateful that yesterday was no worse than it was.  Fortunately, we had the money to pay for the carpet cleaners and pizza.
 
I woke again too early this morning.  It was not as early as yesterday, but almost.  My TMJ is making it practically impossible to get back to sleep.  A neighbor I visit twice a week is a retired surgeon.  He used to fix TMJ.  He did not think it would be a big deal to get surgery for it.  However, I do not want to actively pursue surgery at this time.  I am still hoping my TMJ Exercises will help.
 
Today, my husband has a dentist’s appointment.  He has avoided the teeth extraction his dentist wants to do; I try to get him to brush and floss but to no avail.  I hope I will be alert enough to drive him to the dentist.  Before we go, I need to wash my face masks.  My husband normally will not wear a face mask, but he is required to at the dentists.  There.  A batch of laundry is started.  
 

JV Life Tracker

 
I guess I still have not done much to improve my mood.  Let me score JV Life Tracker (Vibrancy).  I think I did fairly well yesterday.
 
I got 258 points.  However, that does not compensate for what I did to my mood.
 

Feeling Better

 
I lay down a while and came back, realizing I had missed two points for yesterday, one for friends (I introduced myself to my new neighbor), the other for gratitude.  That is 260 points–an excellent score.  It is funny that when my mood was down, I forgot I did uplifting things like that.  I must be feeling better now.
 
The most important beliefs are that my weight will go back down again and reach and maintain my goal weight.  I hope those beliefs will lift my mood.  I have been living in fear again.
 

Meditation

 
I did a 20-minute Finding Your Purpose meditation.   The fact that my weight has gone back down and I have achieved my ideal weight before, even maintaining it for a time, gives me confidence that I can do it again.  If you are struggling to believe that for yourself, look for evidence like that or related evidence.
 
I experienced auditory hallucinations while meditating, which sounded like a faint radio playing with static.  I could tell my doctor about them, but he might insist I take a new medication with its side effects and expense.  The ‘sounds’ were harmless, except that they interfered with my meditation.
 

Breakfast

 
I made a delicious green drink with salad greens.  For the ingredients, see the diet diary below.
 
My second batch of laundry is in the dryer, and I have scored Vibrancy and done my meditation.  I started Cronometer and my blog.  Let me look over my Achieve 50 kg mindmap.  I can take my blood pressure.  It appears okay.  My heart rate has gone back down to the 60s since getting off Imipramine.  That is encouraging.  I was not sure that would happen.
 
It is now 9:40 AM.  I have folded the batch of wash clothes, changed my husband, and put fresh clothing on him.  I could get myself dressed.  After gaining weight last night, I do not feel much like getting dressed.  However, I need to.
 
There.  I am dressed in brown stripes with black dress pants.  My hair still looks okay, too.
 
There.  I have returned from taking my husband to the dentist.  Before I left, I ate a blueberry walnut joy.  For the ingredients, see the diet diary below.
 

Afternoon

 

Snack/Dinner

 
It is 2:00 PM, and I have 569 calories left in my budget.  Maybe I can have a light snack at 2:30 PM and start my fast for tomorrow.   Or I could have an Amy’s frozen dinner in an hour.  That would be a few more calories but could be advantageous.  I think I like the latter choice better.
 
I now have Amy’s made with organic black-eyed peas, vegetable rice bowl–brown rice black-eyed peas and veggies (broccoli, carrots, mushrooms, and onions) in a flavorful tamari ginger sauce, dairy-free, gluten-free, organic, NON-GMO– ready for the oven.  Cronometer’s Amy’s dinner nutrient facts are probably more accurate than those for pizza, which has dairy, gluten, and added sugar.  To have something safer, I will let my husband eat the rest of the pizza.  The dinner has 300 calories, so that will leave 269 in my budget.  I can start my fast once I am done eating.
 
After the massive amount of work getting my husband to and from the dentist in his transport chair, I feel fatigued.  When he tells me he does not want to go anywhere, I am usually relieved.  It takes a lot of effort!
 

Altar

 
 
I created an altar of sacred and meaningful things related to my weight loss, as Marianne Williamson suggests in A Course in Weight Loss.  Doing this lifted my mood as much as anything today.
 
  • A photo of myself at my goal weight
  • My Be Strong and Courageous journal and pen
  • A magnifying glass.
  • Renew hand lotion, signifying renewal.
  • Storks, which symbolize new life
  • An Egyptian jewelry box.
  • Gold, frankincense, and myrrh, signifying gifts for the Savior.
  • Prayer beads with a prayer enclosed.
  • The Holy Bible.
 
This little change in my environment will help lift me away from my past into a sacred space.  Now, I am ready to proceed with my diet, past the pizza incident.
 

Evening

 

Diet Diary

 
 
 
It looks like I got everything but lysine.  I ate slightly more than my target for fructose, but it is close.  I did not have a good record of the spring mix.  I used the value for red lettuce because it is similar.
 
I have fewer calories remaining today.  However, I think that will be okay.
 

Prayer

 
 
Evening PRAYER
 
Dear Lord,
 
My mood is better than it was this morning.  My husband is grateful I got him to the dentist.  Minutes ago, I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen, and started the dishwasher.  The maid will come tomorrow to do some thorough cleaning.
 
Perhaps the most significant thing today was to create an altar.  That will remind me of how holy my weight loss endeavor is.  I ask you to please sanctify my efforts.
 
Tired, I have been up for many hours.  However, I am glad I walked to the library, even though I did not check anything out.  This is Day 17 of 110.  I do not know yet if I will need 110 days or more.
 
I am not as hungry as I typically am this time of day, thanks to today’s extra calories.
 
I still have many days to go.  Help me to hang in there.  Bless my readers with endurance in their endeavors, too.
 
Amen.
 
If you would like to join me on this journey from the beginning, please start with Day One.  If you wish to download a FREE copy of my ebook (with no need to enter your name or email), click on the book below.  Please continue this journey with me by clicking on the arrows at the right of the page.
 
 
 
 
 
 
This article, with its diet diary, shows what worked for me.  I do not claim that it will work for you.  Consult a licensed medical provider to determine your diet and medical care.  These blog entries do not diagnose or treat any disease.  If I provide any clues for you or your provider, I will be happy.
 
 

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